You’d date me 

I’ve stopped making any real effort in the dating game lately. Few men I encounter are good long term material and I move around too much for most men. 

I also lack patience to navigate the minefield. 

This 23 year old on Fet has been trying to make a move. We’re on opposite coasts, but he seems intelligent and mature enough for a guy his age. I gave him my number so we could chat and feel out a connection. For me, that simply means someone to spank , but I haven’t quite figured out what he’s after. Sex requires a lot on an emotional level and I’m kind of on a self-imposed sabbatical. Well, outside of the one gent I meet up with when we are in the same city (which isn’t often… We’ll come back to him). 

Here I am giving him a chance and he’s showing signs of a demanding clinger. 

I’m working nights again. I’m not interested in sending you sexy photos while I’m on shift, or talking to you for hours and hours, or devoting a ton of attention to you. We’re talking, I’m slow to warm up, even joking about being exclusive with you is a turn off. 

I don’t have patience. 

It all needs to be straight up from the outset. What do you want? Sex or a relationship? I’m not exactly willing to provide either right now, but I’m not a fan of playing around. Don’t say you want one when you’re really after the other. 

That straightforward attitude is part of why I still talk to and occasionally get together with my Boston guy. He said from the beginning he wasn’t looking for a relationship because of where he was. I’m not that girl who falls in love if it’s clear where we stand. He’s one of the few I’ve felt I can have fun with and it not feel messy and uncomfortable. Explore a fantasy or two when we’re together, exchange fun texts when we’re not, and go about our lives without it being complicated. My usual relational evasiveness doesn’t act up and my emotions stay quiet. 

It’s funny how a few years ago when dating was impossible, that’s all I wanted to do. Now, I find myself in a place where I don’t have the mindset for it any longer. Sex is too much of a spiritual and emotional connection for me to play around, but I need the contact. Spanking fills that void, but few people want just that when they meet up with someone. 

All this because Facebook is a sneaky bastard. Mr Argentina mysteriously popped up as a person to friend and it was like seeing a ghost. I felt haunted and hunted by our time together. Happy Sunday to me.

That and a recent conversation with a coworker reminded me how much easier it is to not bother. When I was ready to be in a relationship, it never happened. Now I’m in a place in my life where there’s opportunity but no desire. 

You know what, I’ll take my spanking and you can keep the rest. Thankyouverymuch 


  1. Dawn D

    Yes, whatever works for you!
    I totally understand the “Sex is too much of a spiritual and emotional connection for me to play around, but I need the contact” quite well. I feel that way too.
    I hope you find what it is you seek (or don’t seek for that matter!).

  2. Kayla Lords

    Exactly. Just do your thing. No need to waste time and breath on those you know aren’t going to stick around or be able to give you what you want or need.

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