Learning my body 

I can’t say I remember the first time I made myself come, but I know it was an addictive feeling I couldn’t help seeking out. 

My story about discovering my body wasn’t one of innocent exploration. Sex was introduced into my life at a young age and in an unwanted, intrusive manner. I touched myself to understand why someone else would want to. Was I wrong or bad because of it? 

It had the effect of adding shame and guilt to what for most girls is already a shameful thing. It was nightmarish and difficult to overcome at times. 

I’m learning to understand my body as I age. To take the shame and guilt out of sex. To discover and embrace the positions that I find the most self pleasure in. To utilize whatever means necessary to find that release that curls my toes. 

Naked on my back, watching a woman get spanked. As the hand of her lover leaves red prints in her ass, the vibrator buzzes against my clit and hurtles me over. 

On my stomach, ass in the air, picturing a man behind me. My fingers dip, move, so wet in my cunt as I reach for the end. 

Under the covers on my side, reading about a maiden whisked from her homeland to be the concubine of a prince. The hitachi curling my toes and making it impossible to focus on anything expect the pulse of my cunt as I’m hurdled into oblivion. 

In the shower, soaking wet in every way. A stolen moment with a detachable shower head. Pressing my lips together to stifle my moans. 

It’s easy to feel guilt after, but I’m learning to savor the pleasure. My satisfaction is a sweet sensation, not the filthy one so many make it in to. I want every part of me to be lovely, even the pleasure I achieve. 

Masturbation Monday! Trying my damnedest to stay on top of it this month. In case you didn’t know, May is National Masturbation Month. So get a little personal pleasure in and go see what everyone else is writing about while you’re at it. 


  1. Pingback: #MasturbationMonday – #Breathplay Asphyxiation #BDSM | Christina Mandara

  2. Dawn D

    I love this post.
    I’m very boring in this sense. It’s usually on my back, sometimes legs spread as wide as possible, imagining I’m restrained. Usually with my laptop to help create beautiful images in my mind.
    I’m sorry your discovery of sex wasn’t exactly the best. I suppose I am lucky in that way too.
    Thanks for writing this. It’s making me want to do so.ething similar. 🙂

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