Sub Top

Cane in action

If you’re following along, you’ll know that I’m just getting into spanking and I love it. I’ve also talked recently about being interested in women for a long time, and my desire to explore it in some capacity. Working through complicated feelings with kink!

Anyway, I had the opportunity to spank a woman yesterday and it was lovely!

A couple of things I feel I should say first before I talk about the event itself. Firstly, I don’t feel like I’m a dom/me in any way shape or form. I barely think of myself as a top besides the fact that I’m the one administering the spanking. I was informed that I may be a pleasure top. A pleasure top is apparently one more interested in giving than receiving. Not a term I was familiar with so I learned something new. I’ve considered the term Service Top because I like that whomever I’m spanking gets pleasure from me caring for them. Maybe they’re interchangeable terms? Really, I’ve taken to calling myself a subby who likes to spank because it’s the truth. I check in, I make sure it’s the right speed and tempo, I make sure they’re enjoying themselves. I’ve cooed and comforted even as I try to spank a little harder. I’ve baby talked a bit. Definitely not mean even if I’m doing a mean thing. A mean thing I like.

Secondly, women are sooo different from men. I’m basing this off of having spanked one of each so maybe this is anecdotal. Women are more social. Not a lot of talking about sex so much as life in general. I know this can be true of many men, but it’s much more relaxed. While I have that now with my male partner, it’s take a lot longer to get to that point.

Lastly, I still need a lot of reassurance when it comes to spanking. You discover what one partner likes pretty quickly and you cater to that. Meeting and playing with someone new means I have to figure out what they like. I’m such a people pleasure and I tend to need reassured that I’m giving them the experience that they want. I want them to come back so I can’t fuck it up.

So how was spanking a girl different? I mentioned talking. I loved that there was no pressure for things to turn to sex. We talked about life, the play we were possibly having in the future (with other people), and other things. I loved that there wasn’t pressure.

Yes, there was a little awkwardness and to be honest I was fine with that. I know it’s weird to say, but it was cool to see it melt away as we both got comfortable. You’re dropping trou in front of a literal stranger! It’s okay to embrace awkward and go with it.

Also, just the physical differences. Dudes tend to be hairy and a little rough, but she was so smooth. So much smooth skin and cute bum. It was the best spanking and watching that lovely red color appear. The blood beneath the skin surging up to greet me was marvelous. No, it wasn’t sexual so much, but it was sexy to a certain degree getting to touch someone’s bum hot from me spanking them.

Was it the hardest spanking? Probably not, but I was happy to hear she was sore today. Plus, I got to use my new paddle! That stingy little beast was a nice addition to a good old fashioned over the knee hand spanking.

The only thing was my emotional state. I had a little wobble last night after, but I attributed it to the total lack of sleep I was working on and not any kind of drop. It is something I need to be mindful of and could explain why I tend to wobble a little after I’ve spanked in the past.

I’m honestly still trying to wrap my head around the experience. It means something more than just getting to spank a girl to me. Play in kink is so powerful because of what we mentally take away from it. I always get a bit of focus after a spanking and I’m trying to determine what I get from topping. It’s one part discovering more of what I like and another part honoring a part of me I’ve ignored. It’s getting better, more relaxed, and more comfortable doing and exploring both. I like to spank and I like girls. Hopefully I get to do more soon.


  1. Violet

    This. Is. So. Exciting. I’m super happy for you!
    I completely hear you on the complication of new or latent themes within sexuality. I also agree that women are so different – in my experience there’s often more “meat” to the relationships/experiences/companionship and even if they are sexual instances, it’s still much more nuanced than with cis men. Not better, just different!

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      Cara Thereon

      Yes! That’s how I’d describe it. Like I have a good relationship with the male partner I play with, but I feel like I arrived here soon (already) with the woman. I feel like I knew her before we even played.

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  2. Marie Rebelle

    I love reading about these new adventures you are having, and am very interested in the psychological part of it too, how it makes you feel, what you get from it, and more. I look forward to read more.

    Rebel xox

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