“Are you still free tonight?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t now. The baby is sick and my girl needs me to come home to help. You know I wouldn’t cancel for any other reason.”
I registered it, I recognized the excuse for the valid one it was, but my heart heard…
“You are not my priority.”
I’m no one’s priority except my own. My passing dalliances are just that- passing. I’m honey to no one, not a girlfriend someone makes time for, not the top thought in anyone’s mind.
It struck me and foolishly I teared up. Some of my mixed emotions was disappointment. Shaved legs, trimmed cunt, readied ass, all a wasted effort that night. I was relegated to treating myself to dinner and a movie… Chips and porn as I gave myself a decent enough orgasm to honor my attempts.
But the sadness lingered.
I’m too transient for long term and frankly I don’t want it, but it made me feel weird to be canceled on. I wasn’t priority in someone’s life and it chafed.
Oh how selfish of me to be upset over a sick baby and canceled plans. I’m the semi side chick who isn’t attached anyway. And yet, the mind and emotions do their own thing.
My first response was to minimize
“It’s okay. Nothing to apologize for.” I’m not that important.
My second response was to remind us both I’m not going to be around much longer.
“I only have a few more weekends left before I go so if we can’t get together again it’s been nice playing with you.” This isn’t that important so it’ll be a clean break.
The next day his text both relieves and sadness me.
“When do you leave?”
Five weeks. I cruise to a different coast and have to catalogue this experience in with the many I’ve had.
“We’ll get together before you leave.”
Is that a promise? Your list of priorities is long and I’m definitely not at the top.
“Maybe we will.”