I’m Showing You

How much of ourselves do we reveal as writers?

I’m honest sometimes. Brutally honest, especially with myself. Maybe cruel is a more accurate portrait of how I treat myself? But ultimately I’m honest even if that honesty hurts.

I didn’t start blogging to have a platform for my writing, I started because I wanted to talk to someone in a safe way. It’s easier to talk to strangers when they aren’t near you, and I’m not good with strangers. I thought it was an easy transition from regular blogger to writer who blogs.


I’ve learned the hard way there’s a certain way to do this writing/blogging thing. Not everyone is supportive, and revealing too much can get you into a lot of trouble if you’re not careful. Been there, done that.

So that leads back to the original question. How much do we reveal? This place isn’t my tell all, write all, say all blog. But people can’t connect with you unless you talk about something other than what story you’re writing. I can’t talk about my job or my struggles though because I’m supposed to remain anonymous.

What the hell do I do then?

I relegate the personal me to a private site (one no one has found yet), and try figuring out how much is too much here. There I can pour out the harder stories that fill my brain, talk about the ugly me that likes the surface, I’m dark and taboo and honest. I’ll still be that here, but with restrictions. I’ll discuss the topics of importance, but temper the honesty when necessary. Some times (like now) that brutal honesty will leak in and bring dark tales with it. I’ll let it in, you’ll read and maybe comment, and we’ll solider on.

Eventually I’ll find my place again.

I’m not popular, I’ll never be famous, but I like to think I’ll be interesting to a few people who get to know me. That’s enough, right?

How much is too much for a writer to reveal?

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  1. Dawn Rinken

    Good question! It’s something I struggle with, as well: finding my public-face-as-a-writer blogging niche that makes me accessible to my readers, yet still establishes me as a serious writer. (And keeping “telling” public details of my life off of my spill-my-guts anonymous blog. 😉 ) There’s got to be a seminar they teach about this somewhere, right?

    1. Post
      Cara Thereon

      A seminar would be awesome. Who’s teaching that one?

      I’ve learned hard lessons over the last month. I say a lot on my private site, but nothing that’ll bring the trouble I had before. I’d like to stay clear of that nastiness forevermore.

  2. pivoine68

    I’m getting tired of remaining anonymous…but I suppose once you are really out there, you can never crawl back into the comfort of being able to say what you feel without being afraid of what people will think. I am also pretty nervous about this anyways.

    We are similar in how hard we are on ourselves…it confuses us into thinking that our doubt and fears are valid. (does this make sense? I’ve had far too many glasses of wine today.)


    1. Post
      Cara Thereon

      No, I understand and agree. My fears become real things that I believe are facts. I’d like a glass of wine right about now. Too bad I’m about to drive or I’d go to the bar and have one. <3

  3. Vikki Thompson

    I’ve been asking myself this question a lot recently Cara *sighs*

    My blog is for my writing so I don’t often talk about personal stuff, been there, done that on LiveJournal and it’s still all sitting there, painful reminders of a part of my life I want to forget. I tell people I’m an open book, and I am, but only if you ask….I won’t tell all unless prompted 😉


    1. Post
      Cara Thereon

      I actually feel freer now that I have a totally private site to write whatever I want. I’m deciding that it’s better that I say little and hope people understand.

  4. annieoakfield

    I am with you all the way, girl. I have suffered the indignity of (local) public exposure plus loss of my day job following some adult material that I published – stupidly revealing who I was at the same time. Now I try to remain quietly anonymous under my new name whilst still letting my dark and saucy personality out for a walk after dark. In my (new) day job, no-one knows who I am. None of my profiles show my face, although I’ve been asked to ‘come out’ and I feel a little safer. Hopefully this can last without me seeming rude to my followers.
    So, in answer to your question about revealing too much – just be nice, reveal little and guard against those asking for more (why do they need more??). I’ve been asked for phone numbers, Skype chats and even cam chats. No, no and NO! I will keep myself to myself and only let the world peek at that which I grant it. The rest is mine…

    1. Post
      Cara Thereon

      My biggest issue has been from my family on this front. I was in a big mess a few weeks ago and it caused a whole lot of issues. Had to get rid of my original site (both my public and private one) and get a whole new place and name. I’m much more cautious now.

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