Let me try

I told him I could handle it so soon because waiting wasn’t an option. So he led me into this room specifically to determine my fear and play upon it.

“I have things to get. I expect you to be on the couch with the blindfold on when I get back.”

“Should I remove my clothes?” My nerves come out in my voice.


He’s gone before I can ask any more question. I have no choice except obedience so I place the blindfold over my eyes and my body on the couch.

My heart starts racing immediately. When he returns, he’ll make it his mission to make me cry again. The last time it was 6 strikes with the cane across my already tender ass that reduced me to tears. Reduced me to begging in a way I’ve never begged in my life.

He’ll bring me there again today and I’ll beg again.

When he returns, every noise he makes causes me to jump. The anticipation has me breathy and tense.

“You were late today. We’ll have to address that. How late were you?”

17. Fucking. Minutes. Late.

I give him the number and he returns with the promise of 10 spanks for every minute I was late.

“How many is that?”

“170, sir.” I fidget on the couch and he stops me with a hand on my back.

“You’ll count each one and say ‘I’ll never be late again, sir’.”

And it begins…

I’m slowly stripped naked. On the couch with his hands falling hard and fast, delivering every spank with glee as I apologize for my tardiness. Against the St. Andrew’s Cross with the whip that flicks against breasts, belly, stomach, and thighs. His mouth finds one nipple, sucking to soothe before inflicting pain on the tender tip. Then he turns me, ties me, and beats a tattoo with the cane against my ass.

I am blank.

I am a series of cries, I am reduced to tears behind my blindfold because anticipation/pain have rendered me undone.

“Do you feel vulnerable?”

Yes. I’m at his mercy and I have to trust… Trust he’ll stop when I need him to. Trust he’ll push my limits without breaking them. Trust that I’ll be brought to the edge of pain and still love it.

“One more set with the cane and I’ll untie you. Tell me you need it.”

“I need it. Please spank me, sir.”

Strips of fire light across my skin and I’m bawling like a baby again.

I can’t explain that feeling. Wanting it to stop, but aching for it to continue.

I need… To feel out of control, controlled by someone else, subject to the pain.

When we finish, after long moments of more pain, he makes me kneel. I am in child’s pose, naked save for my pretty pink thongs.

Strangely content.


  1. Kayla Lords

    Not strangely content. Completely content. Mind empty, soul filled, pure calm. At least that’s always been my experience.

    The tears are cathartic in a way that few other things ever are.

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      1. Kayla Lords

        Both probably contribute. When I first had those experiences, it was strange and right all at the same time. If it wasn’t right for you – at least on some level – you wouldn’t feel the contentment, I’m sure.

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