Our eyes meet across the room, and electricity sparks between us. I’m suddenly all to aware of my body. The heaviness of my breasts as they tried to spill over the top of my corset, the way my heart raced at a frantic pace, the way wet heat bloomed and seeped from between my thighs. I’m primed from a single glance.
But age-old insecurities makes my eyes skitter away. I feel his gaze, but I’m too much of a chicken to give more than a fleeting glance.
That giddy place inside me, that idealistic girl from my youth, wants to shape a fairy tale with him at the center. His sparkling blue eyes and dark hair make him the perfect knight for my daydreams. And lover for many of my lurid erotic fantasies.
I try to shake my wishful thinking. Crafting a happily ever after with a man who hasn’t even approached me is illogical. I didn’t do illogical even when it’s wrapped in such an attractive package.
It was impossible to ignore the attraction that streaked across the distance, but I did. Not because I didn’t want what he offered, not because my body didn’t light up at the hardness of his, but because I had no clue how to respond.
In a romcom a la Katherine Heigl, I’d do something silly and he’d sweep me off my feet. Something more dramatic would have us running into each other in a very Serendipitous type of way. My reality is I don’t respond well and my life is more comedy and less romance. I just don’t give the right signals.
I fiddle with the straw in my cocktail and glance up again. He’s still looking and I’m still steeped in confusion. Is he the type of guy to approach if my gaze lingers long enough or is he the “wait on the woman” type? I give off the unapproachable vibe so it’s hard to tell which is likely.
But I know me, and my lust for him can’t overcome my pessimism or my deep-seated reticence. So instead of approaching him and telling him I want him – want him so bad I’ll ache for the rest of the night -, I finish my cocktail, leave a tip on the table, and stand up. His eyes slid over me like a physical caress and that awareness hits me full force again. At least at I’m wanted tonight. I indulge my imagination for a few long moments before I walk away.
Maybe longing will trump years of uncertainty someday, or maybe serendipity will bring us together. But tonight I’ll slid between my sheets alone and hope I’ll brush my womanly wiles off the shelf next time and maybe have my romantic comedy.
It’s the possibility that gives me hope. The thought that I’m not as broken as I feel like I am is what I hold on to.
what an intimate moment you brought to life….
your last line seemed to glow as I read it,
this is one of those thoughts that make one pause and feel their life
Thank you for sharing…..it is a hauntingly beautiful story
Thanks for reading. 🙂
start with a smile….
I think something is wrong with me. My wires are crossed.
might be thinking too much 🙂
Probably. Likely. Absolutely. I don’t know how not to though
it’s ok to smile and flirt wildly. really.
I’ll try that next time.
it’s ok to have fun.
Maybe that’s the reminder that I need.
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It is so hard to let go sometimes… I hope that serendipity will bring you together… never lose hope…
With that said what a sexy encounter.
I’m combating my pessimism so I can hold on hope. Thanks
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Such a sweet vignette…
Working out my thoughts via story.
Thank you for taking us on this journey through your thoughts!
You’re welcome. 🙂
Another lovely glimpse at real world life. You could do any number of things to bring the boys in from the yard but catching one on a moment of simply being you is what will be the most rewarding I think. You write such nice inward, sexy thoughts I can’t wait for those to come true for you…
I can’t wait either! Lol.
I write what I feel a lot. I was in a particularly bummed mood here and poetry just wasn’t going to get my point across. This fit.
I think it suits you well. Writing what you feel, not being bummed. Like a painter uses emotion to drive his brush and oil, you use it to drive your words…
Thanks. My writing has changed over the last year so I follow the feelings.
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The inherent flaws you allow us to see are exactly what I find so endearing about you. You’re sexy, but you’re human. As exciting as it would have been if you had wound up with the guy in the end, it was so much more relateable this way, with all of the self-doubt and second-guessing you did. And who knows: maybe this story will continue another time…? 🙂
Maybe. If I can be less awkward, it just may
ooh! I hope so. 🙂
A delightful insight into how we are all our own private island, trying not to pass like ships in the night.
It always interests me thinking about missed opportunities. Or maybe I like to torture myself with thinking about them. I think about the close calls often v