The light from the porch taunted her. Like the flicker of a candle and she the moth, it beckoned her to step back into the warmth she’d left. She wanted it, wanted to see him and touch him, wanted him to surround her with love. She wanted his smile, his booming laughter, his caress. God, she wanted him.
She swallowed around the sorrow that threatened to choke her. No amount of pep talking kept the tears at bay. The sting as they seeped from her eyes made them fall faster, dampening her cheeks and shirt collar. Dampening that desert place in her heart.
Leaving him ranked as the hardest thing she’d ever done, the stupidest decision she’d made.
As she’d stood on that porch some years before, the packed car ahead of her and his solid presence behind her. One step back and she would’ve been in his arms. He called to her, told her he didn’t care that they weren’t a perfect fit because he loved their imperfections.
Even with his words clinging to her soul she walked away, but not before giving in to the urge to look back. Not before they locked eyes and she watched both their hearts break. Fear made her run instead of stay.
Squeezing the steering wheel, it took everything she had to start the car and drive away from him again. She loved him, but she needed to fix what was broken before she returned to him. Even as the car pulled around the block, the light from the windows too tiny to see, she couldn’t help looking back once more.