Rebel

I had a thought yesterday. Exhaustion had me in its grip after a long 12 and was squeezing me tight. I was thinking about how I needed to tend to the new piercing and maybe I should get a matching one for the other side Soon. Fleeting thoughts about how I haven’t had a spanking in a while showed up as well.

My roommate and best friend, Bug, was making herself dinner and as I stood in the kitchen, our conversation turned to how we have both been the ‘good kids’ in our families. I chuckled because I realized I wasn’t the good one anymore (well good by the standards I measured myself against before). Something dawned on me…

I’m having the rebellious adolescence I didn’t have as a teenager.

When I mentioned it to Bug, her response went something like this: “Duh”

I didn’t set out to turn this into my attempts to let my freak flag fly, but that’s what it’s turned in to. More accurately it’s been my chance to grow a different way. I wasn’t stunted before, but things in my past have conspired in a way that I felt restrained previously.

Things are different here. Not in the “I’m an independent woman” type of way (I was pretty damn independent before, thankyouverymuch). More like I’m learning about and learning to accept a different part of myself I haven’t yet.

So, while I’m not sleeping with anything with a dick, I am learning a lot about what I like and want. I’m also learning how to ask for the things I want during sex and in male/female interactions in general. I want my spankings or a fat cock to suck on, and that’s okay. My brand of rebellion may be late and tame compared to most teens today, but I’m at least actively learning. That’s gotta be worth something.

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  1. Kayla Lords

    It’s probably better to be rebellious NOW when you understand the consequences rather than as a teenager…says the adult who went through her teenage rebellion a couple of years ago… 🙂

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      1. Kayla Lords

        To me, that’s actually a good thing…taking risks when you understand that there can be consequences is different than being young and dumb and doing what feels good without any thought to possible consequences…

  2. Not As Innocent as They Think

    Congrats on your “awakening”! I see nothing wrong with what you’re doing. And as a fellow “12er”, I think that has a lot to do with our growth as well..what we see, experience and do during our many shifts, changes us. I know I’ve matured, changed a lot because of my experiences at work as well. Where would I find your email addy on here? Would like to message yo privately if possible. 🙂

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