Preferences

We all have preferences in what we find attractive. Not that we are locked into that choice, but it can dictate what we naturally gravitate to sexually.

I have always claimed to be an equal opportunity dater. If you’re attractive, no matter your skin color, I will date you. That being said, I know I have a serious attraction to white men. White, yuppy, well to do, preppy men. Blonde or brown hair, blue or green eyed, fair skinned men. The contrast excites me.

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Mmm, he makes my pussy cat purr. Meow.

I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood/state from late childhood on so my adolescent crushes were white boys. My adult crushes have been white guys.

For a long time I felt bad about that. I’m a black girl so shouldn’t I be more attracted to black guys? Silly really, but my teen years and a lot of my early adulthood were filled with tons of angst and confusion I’ve just started tackling. The result was I spent a lot of time wondering if a white guy would find me attractive because in my hometown my body/skin type isn’t really the norm.

Anyway, color is a silly thing to be hung up on, but it does make me wonder at the things that influence what type of person we find ourselves attracted to.

Does anyone find they have preferences when it comes to attraction and do you know the root of it? Just curious.

Comments

  1. jayne

    I think that guy would make some men say he’s attractive. haha I had to respond to this because I am of the dark hair, olive skin type and I think I just figured out WHY I was attracted to white, blond men – not always so I started recalling old shows I grew up with and the main men were ALL blond white guys. I just thought it was weird and pretty funny because the characters are OLD westerns and OLD TV shows. The correlation surprised me. ?????

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  2. Heidi

    I have ‘preferences’ but usually they start talking and they become unattractive. I’ve always leaned toward finding bad boys sexy but that probably comes from the fact I was always a nerd/good girl growing up. I am attracted to them physically but mentally I prefer smart guys. I think right now I’m with my mental preference for a man, but he’s not anywhere near my ‘physical’ preference. I’d say he’s my rebel/bad boy/genius but in the body of a lumber jack lol. So I guess you could throw in that attractiveness is ‘initially’ skin deep. Why do they have to talk and ruin it?!

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      Cara Thereon

      Yea, but I felt bad about it for a long time. Like I was wrong to have the obvious attractions I did. It doesn’t help that friends/people automatically assume I want a black guy because I am black. I’m attracted to certain black men, but it’s not my default attraction.

  3. hispetitelle

    I went for men from around the world. My first real boyfriend was Swedish, another was Scottish, another Portuguese, and my X was from Dublin. In between there were a few others…Italian, Greek, British, and I joke about the Canadian…lol! They all looked different so the common denominator was the accent…big sucker for accents. After my X I actually said to myself, “Why don’t I try an American?” I met my husband, who is mixed race (mostly black and Choctaw, with some Scottish/English). My husband is from the midwest and was raised in a white area like yourself (he had a thing for Italian girls like myself). He has a deep sexy voice and we first started a long distance phone friendship. I fell in love with his voice before I ever saw a picture of him…no internet back then. I first saw what he looked like in person about 5 months after we started our phone friendship/flirting. Love at first site for both of us.

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      Cara Thereon

      The last few guys I’ve gone out with have been foreign. Argentina and Germany for my international explorations. The accent does it for me. The thing is both are still of Caucasian descent. I can be attracted to a man of any color with a great body being a draw for me. I imagine what I actually end up with may differ from what I believe I like. Are likes evolve in that way.

  4. Hubman (@hubman38)

    I know I have my preferences. I generally prefer the fit/athletic type, there’s something undeniably sexy about someone who takes good care of themselves. Of course, I’ve had some wonderful experiences with less-than-fit ladies and know not to judge attraction based on appearances alone.

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      Cara Thereon

      I like muscles or obviously fit men, but I’ve had wonderful interactions with guys who didn’t necessarily fit that profile either. Our preferences seem to guide, but not restrict.

  5. II

    Well, I think it makes sense to be attracted to people you are surrounded by. I mean, does it leave room for much imagination or venturing if you only hang out with the people you hang out with?

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      Cara Thereon

      I’ve made some interesting connections lately. The guys I’ve meet have been different even than what I was around at home. A Korean guy asked me to coffee Wednesday. Now that’s new for me.

  6. JK

    I’d switch sides for that guy. 😉
    Unlike you, I’m white and grew up in a brown neighborhood, mostly Latino. Out of necessity, I only dated Latinas until I went away to college and ended up in a very white town. Not surprising now that I’d be so attracted to Sofia. I’ve always found myself drawn to long dark hair and brown skin. It’s what I knew.

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  7. Spider42

    While I agree with you on colour being a silly reason to solely base attraction on and definitely more so when it becomes something unusual or such to date people of another ethnicity if they are attracted to one another.
    I’m an Indian guy and while I have a lot of attraction to women of light brown and darker shades of skin, I am by no means purely biased toward that as a first choice or anything like that, white, black and anything in between – if I like the way a lady is put together, any singular details are seldom enough to swing my interest away.
    That said, the one thing that I have an instinctual attraction to – and unlike yours this is not inspired by ANYTHING at all in my growing up years that I can attribute to it when I’ve wondered about it – and that is redheads. A woman who I consider one of the hottest women alive (and possibly ever) who is both a natural figured woman and has the kind of locks that just set my insides ablaze would be Christina Hendricks. She could cause me to stop in mid-anything and jaw-drop pretty much anytime.

  8. goldbean

    As for me I grew up in a multi-cultural area of the northshore, I love dark skinned females from tan all the way to chocolate (love me some brown, black and chocolate) also your complexion too. To me personally the reason I love dark skin girls because I love the beauty of seeing there skin during my life seeing them all the time. As for love there is no color, when it happens you overlook everything about them.

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