All my life, I’ve been considered the quiet one in my family. The one who would, as a baby, sit quietly as long as I could see other people. I didn’t have to talk and didn’t really need to play with others.

I like living alone. Prefer it honestly, because my space is my own and I like that.

I’ve always despised small talk. Chitchatting with strangers gives me hives. No one really cares about the weather and talking politics just makes people angry. It’s rare to light on a topic I can carry on an extended conversation about and that makes social gatherings tough. It makes making friends and being in the dating scene challenging because… small talk. 😭

The trait that made me a good baby, now is interpreted as being antisocial. What? Why??

Being labeled antisocial bothers me though. I’m not, I just hate being volunteered as the person to visit someone in the hospital or do the social task. I don’t mind talking when I need to, but I’m mostly an introvert so those times tend to be extremely draining. I’m a pretty good public speaker, rarely suffer from stage fright if the crowd isn’t overly large, and was a good teacher when I did that for a living so speaking isn’t my problem. In fact, in a one on one setting, I’m happy to blather away on a topic for a while.

I love sitting quietly with someone I love though. That comfortable silence that doesn’t have to be filled. My best friend and I have moments like that. We sit in each other’s presence, doing our own thing, but together. It definitely harkens back to my time as a child, someone’s there and I’m fine with that.

Quiet is good and we treat it look it’s a terrible thing to want it. Well, I rebel against that notion. All hail the quiet, the bringer of silence.

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  1. KP

    As I said on twitter, I adore this picture – the balance of form, tone and texture and… hotness. Now I see it here, I also understand the importance of the stillness in the image.

  2. Posy Churchgate

    I like to be sociable and I like to be quiet – a bit of both suits me.

    I’m inclined to blather though – to fill what feel like ‘awkward’ silences to me. I have to know someone really well to sit in silence with them.

    I agree that forced sociability leaves me feeling drained, but I’m different from you in that I enjoy it at the time!

  3. May More

    Ah never worry Cara – as you get older you can act how you want and nobody cares if you are quiet or not. I love quiet – I need quiet and I will bloody have it too! x

  4. missy

    I totally agree. There is way too much noise in this world and too much pressure to do small talk. I love when I can sit quietly with someone else too 🙂

  5. Zoë

    I’m very much an introvert too. I’m capable of doing small talk in the same way I’m capable of doing pushups — for a little while, only if I really have to, and I’ll probably kind of resent it. I work from home and I *love* the quiet! My partner is more introverted than me, so it’s often silent even when we’re both home.

  6. Charlie Powell

    I’m not, as you’ve probably noticed in the past, quiet at all(!), but a lot of what you say here resonates with me. Oddly, I find dating hard because of the lack of that comfortable silence that can happen with friends – I feel like I have to fill all the silences on dates because they make me so uncomfortable.

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