The traditional way of numbering the years in the Julian and Gregoria calendars is utilizing B.C. (Commonly denoted as Before Christ) and A.D. (Anno Domini or Year of our Lord).
My life has marking points on the calendar. Birthdays, moving, taking a new job. I like to use a different marking system for my submissive journey.
B.D. and A.D.
Before Daddy and After Daddy.
I wish I had a fun Latin word for it. I mean, I guess the original Latin for A.D. could stand here. Hm…
Anyway, Michael is a very important part of my life. You can see if from my daily affirmations on twitter to many of the things I write.
While I was aware of many of my submissive tendencies, I’d never had a steady dominant to center them on. I discovered my spankophile desires early in my kink journey, but didn’t think I was truly submissive, I just liked to be over someone’s lap. Spanking was a good activity for a lot of my mounting anxiety. I can go over a lap and my head would quiet for a little bit. It was almost therapy, but it wouldn’t last once I was alone.
I’d write the occasional (okay, more than occasional) submissive story, not really acknowledging or understanding what my mind wanted. Without a dominant, it was just passing desires and I wasn’t interested in just submitting to any man.
I “met” Michael via twitter in 2017 and he wasn’t actively looking to make me his submissive nor was I trying to have a dominant, but love happens.
Yes, I now have someone to submit to, but it’s more than that. If I just focus on the emotional changes alone, I notice I’m a little calmer. I noted that I wasn’t struggling with anxiety (or my usual intense seasonal depression) that plagued me. Those things don’t go away, but I found I had help refocusing my emotions with him and I didn’t get swamped like I was prone to becoming.
Having a dominant to submit to does become more than just kneeling, cock sucking, and spankings. I get those things and they are good, but distance means I don’t get them as much as I’d like.
Feeling like I have that connection to him has made me feel more calm. Michael is better than a good spanking!
I’ll be revisiting this in the future when I have more time. Watch this space!
Comments
This is sweet. 🙂
I think we discover so much about ourselves through our relationships with other people; the best ones help us to understand ourselves better and to grow into better/more-authentic versions of ourselves. You obviously have that, in multiple ways, with Michael.
Author
Very true. being vulnerable enough in those relationships to learn who we are.
He’s definitely helped me
Lovely words and, of course, lovely photo !!!
Xxx – K
Author
Thank you.
The connection is always more important than the sex to me – without the connection, the sex will not continue – loved reading this x
Author
So true. That’s important for me too
Gorgeous image and such an interesting story about how this has impacted your life. TFS!
La-
Author
Thanks!
I love the connection between you and Michael, but also between you and Molly. It’s beautiful to ‘watch’ from where I am.
Rebel xox
Author
Awww thank you, Rebel. I love the connection that exists between all of us so much
What’s so funny to me is that for years I’ve read your submissive tales (fiction and nonfiction) and thought, “That woman is SUCH a submissive.” JB and I might have had a couple of conversations about it, hoping that if it was something you wanted to explore, you’d find the right person. Clearly, you did.
Also, I have my own version of your kind of B.D. and A.D., lol, and I can’t imagine my life any other way at this point. And, I’ve found that many (obvs not all) great relationships tend to happen when neither of you is looking for it.
Author
Ooh you’ve been around me a loong time! It did take the right person to be comfortable exploring that. Michael is definitely my person.
I wasn’t looking for this relationship when it snuck up on me. It’s been a journey for me in a lot of ways