Leaning forward, I look myself over in the half mirror above the sink.

Dark skinned
Dark eyed
Dark hair
Average breasts
Tall stature
Natural hair

All parts of me that make for a beautiful whole. I am beautiful. I AM beautiful. am beautiful. I am BEAUTIFUL!

Except… Except, I can’t help twirling my hair, or pinching the fat at my waist, or noting the droop of my booty and wondering.

I’m wondering why those things bother me when they shouldn’t. Why I sometimes hear my mother’s words criticizing. I am bound by the words of someone as flawed as me. A worrier when I shouldn’t be, imperfect and clinging to the praise of a person as imperfect as me.

My hair looks fine! No one should critique my style, my body, my hair except me.

Mothers, be good to your daughters. Tell her she’s beautiful, teach her to be strong, show her how to trust her judgement. Because she will love they way you’ve shown her to appreciate herself, and that’s a perfect reflection of you.


  1. goldbean92

    So true, and always appreciate the natural body that God gave you and take pride in it. Never let anyone change your natural beautiful looks. I wish more black folks would love and cherish there natural looks more because it’s showing pride on our culture and our selves too. Also everyone should encourage kids to be strong, have thick skin, be determined and love themselves no matter what the world brings at them. Thanks for writing this Cara and keep admiring yourself.

  2. G

    Girl you are special and beautiful in more ways than one can count. I’ve been thinking about mother’s influences a lot, and I think you have a great message here! Xoxox

  3. hispetitelle

    I have a beautiful dark skinned daughter and I tell all the time that she beautiful and lovely because she it. Her heart is the kindest and what a mind! We constantly encourage her to be her unique self in all she does and we’re just crazy proud of her in every way.

  4. 'Tis

    So, So, So True! This message goes for any child, daughter or son. Love them, cherish them, support them, encourage them, teach them to overcome and rise above the crap that will be slung their way as we all know life tends to do.

    You are beautiful Cara, never let anyone tell you differently. 🙂

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