Exhausted, but wanted to write this incoherent gibberish before I crashed hard from a few days with so little sleep.
“Explore your sexuality, but don’t lose your ideals.”
I’d planned to tell you about my date(s). Had every intention of it because I enjoy sharing myself with everyone and writing helps me process. Except… After last night I’m reluctant to say too much.
Dinner was great that first time. What started kinda iffy ended up being the best conversation date. And last night was fun. The stuff I write stories about, but the best part is we spent time talking. We actually spent hours and hours talking.
I like him, but know I’m only getting fun and experience out of this. He’s hoping to move closer to his family in the next two months (they’re in another country) and he just got out of a long term relationship. He’d be the type that I could see myself being with long term, but I can’t have that from him.
What I can get is adventure. A ride on his motorcycle, a trip to the strip club, a nude beach (if I can talk him into it).
Still I’m hesitant to expose my experiences. Maybe because it feels too good and I want to keep it to myself? Maybe I’m exploring parts of me that are a bit too fragile for close examination? Maybe I don’t understand this enough yet?
I want to maintain myself while still exploring outside my usual comfort zone. I want fun with him for however long I have him. If I end up with a broken heart, it’s no one’s fault except my own. I’m too damn passionate for my own good, I make stupid choices, and I let myself live in the moment.
But I still want this and him more than anything.
some things are for you to treasure in your heart.
Yea. I think this is one of those moments. Apparently I can’t kiss and tell.
diminishes the event – intimacy is not usually played out in a crowd 🙂
You are worth being treated right.
Ah, thank you for saying so. 🙂
but of course 🙂
Yes, we want most what we ultimately can’t have. Enjoy the blissful moment, however brief.
I hate that, but it’s true. I want it more because I know it won’t last. I’ll definitely enjoy it though.
Some of the best experiences you know from the start will be brief.
This should not stop you from enjoying them as much as you can at the time.
And from keeping them in your heart forever.
Just letting them out occasionally to enjoy fondly with a big grin.
I’ll definitely be holding them close and enjoy whatever I can get from him. 🙂
When you have ice cream you know its going to melt so you have to enjoy it while you can. And ice cream is always great 🙂
Ahahaha. I enjoy all the drips! It’s so good even melted.
Life is short and full of suffering. Enjoy this while you can. I wish you could see the smile that came to my face as I read this. Rock on, Ms. C!
Lol. Thanks. 🙂
Here’s to being too passionate for our own good!
Something to keep for yourself ;]
Although the nosy side of me desperately wants to know, I understand completely. I’ve done the same thing with my current relationship.
I feel like I’m trying to protect the relationship and myself. If it doesn’t work out, I want to cherish the little I have.
And that is something I definitely get…after all of my word vomiting about the last relationship and then how it ended, I didn’t want to go through the same thing with a new relationship…your loyal readers will accept what we can get…but just know I’m very happy for you… 🙂
You do what feels right and comfortable. Take care of you!
Thanks! I will. 🙂
Sounds as if you’re determined to enjoy the here and now! Glad you’re having fun and good conversation, being taken account of as a whole person 🙂
There here and now is all I’ve got so I better enjoy it. Lol. 🙂