What am I doing here?
The reason I started this blog-thang almost 9 years ago was because I liked putting my thoughts out there and seeing what conversations I could start. It could also be read as me being a glorified attention whore. Mostly, it was a safe way for me to meet and interact with strangers without the awkwardness that comes with first meetings.
I was much more revealing with my person during the early stages of my blogging. I’d post lots of photos of myself, talk about work or school, things I worried about, my family, and anything that floated through my mind. It was a journal that garnered me public feedback.
That’s changed over the years. I post about myself less and less, and have shifted away from frank revelations about feelings and the like. That’s fitting in a lot of ways, but I struggle with what my purpose for blogging is anymore.
As a writer, you’re required to have a niche of some kind. I’m an erotica/romantic erotica writer. That’s my label, my genre of choice, but what’s my niche as a blogger?
People come to Cara Thereon’s blog to gain what kind of insight? I’m not sure…
If I can’t do the things I did before because of backlash, what can I do that is attractive to people? Figuring out not my marketability, but my likability is hard. I write, so naturally I post my unpolished pieces to give you some idea what I’m capable of. My brain is brimming with stories, but not all are worth sharing. I can’t help asking myself if that’s the best use of this space?
I may need to go back to some kind of schedule. I’ve considered posting a piece where I ask for critique, going back to posting a book review a week, and sharing the stories I like the best of my writing.
Bottom line is I need to figure out exactly what I’m offering and give that.
What’s your blogging purpose?
I’ll post a story in a bit.
I’m not sure what my blogging purpose is. I’m still in search for what my “thing” is.
Maybe blogging doesn’t necessarily have to have a purpose. I like your blog how it is. You post fun things. I guess I’m not sure if I’m posting the right things that are interesting to other people.
My blogging purpose, orignally, was to help improve people’s sex lives, especially those in LTRs. Sometimes, I go through phases where I think I’m reaching that goal, and then periods when I’m not doing that at all.
But you, Cara, shame on you. You’re a bad girl, talking that way about yourself! Why do people come here? For many reasons: excellent stories that drag you in and leave you wanting, for understand and non-judgement. Because you, my friend, kick ass!
And (sorry to keep ranting) I personally like blogs that are not simply “platform.” I like blogs that market, but are also personal. They serve a purpose, but also connect the reader to the experience. I do follow blogs that are simply the “pitch” if you will, but I don’t keep up with them, because there is nothing to “keep up” with, it is all simply information, not interaction. Does that make any sense? Xoxo. Keep doing what your doing hon, it’s working!
I think your blog does that. I enjoy the free aspect of your place. It’s honest and lively.
Lol. I am suitably chastised. Some of my wondering comes from not being sure what readers want. Stories? My thoughts? I’m trying to give without giving too much. And I understand what you mean perfectly. I guess interaction is always going to trump dry information any day. Thanks! <3
I’m still discovering my niche, but I started just six months ago, I will give it another six months to figure it out. I couldn’t dream of being a professional writer, so I guess I’m just finding a way to interact right now and that is it.
I never thought I’d take a stab at professional writing either, yet here I am stabbing around. I’ve been blogging for a long time just for fun and my style has evolved. I’m sure you’ll figure things out soon. 🙂
My blogs began with vague ideas of purpose. With my writing blog, I sought to maybe share helpful information with others as I was trying to get into freelance writing. I’ve never done well with freelance writing, but continue to pursue writing. I keep sharing, but it’s bits and pieces of things I find out or things I write. My other blog is all about homemaking and homesteading really. Both blogs I guess have a real purpose of sharing…hopeful something I write may be a bit of inspiration to someone and at the same time I enjoy a sense of community. I like the up close and personal world of blogging…I’ll always keep a bit hidden, but I like sharing the personal side of my world not just offering up strictly informational things.
I’m sure it inspires someone!
I think it’s hard not to share personal aspects of ourselves because the people who we interact with receptive to that. I’m not sure which blog I have access to is which, but I like interacting with you on that one.
I blog intermittently but if I had to state a reason it would be to promote my stories. Since publishing also comes infrequently, blogging can be a way off keeping in touch with your fan base and promoting your work when it is published. Your samples and snipits give your readers insight into your writing style
I’m beginning to think that’s what my blogging has evolved into at this point. With a smattering of my thoughts in between.
What’s my blogging purpose? I’ll give a specific answer and then a more general answer.
The specific answer is that I started my blog “Erotica Exotica” the first week of this past November, because I was going through one of the most heartbreaking and difficult experiences of my life. After an almost four year long downward spiral into the hell of dementia, my formerly intellectually brilliant father was finally close to dying. He passed away on December 30th, but it was a blessing for him, and for all who loved him, because he no longer had any quality of life at all.
Love and sex have always been a vital and mostly positive part of my life experience since I was 16 years old, and blogging about love and sex here really did help me get though one of the worst experiences I’ve ever been through.
The more general answer is that my blogging purpose is to use photography and writing to celebrate the joy and beauty of love and being loved, combined with all the wonder and thrilling excitement of human sexuality. The goal aimed for is.a celebration of the wide range of diverse forms of sexual expression and interaction between men and women, as a mutually shared powerfully pleasurable experience leading to mutual sexual ecstasy. My blog is based upon my own life experience as a 42 year old man who genuinely loves women for who they are as people, and not just for the sexual gratification that I can take from their female bodies. I enjoy the company and companionship of women as both friends online and in real life, as well as real life lovers. But only one lover now since 2002, because I’m married and happily married most of the time. (Hi Laura!) I also want to write about the problems encountered in relationships between men and women who are trying to live together as lovers and life partners in harmony, while facing the inevitable conflicts that result in strife and resentment of each other, that must be resolved and mutually forgiven for relationships to succeed and not end in failure.
But although one of my two marriages did end in failure after six years, and some of my relationships ended with either my own heart broken and the heartbreak of my former lover, I also want to use my own life experience as a testimony that broken hearts can eventually heal, new lovers can be found, and second marriages can succeed and thrive happily for 11 years and counting..I also want my photography and writing to be an affirmation of the restorative powers of love and sexual healing of emotional pain and suffering caused by the ravages of trying to survive all the problems and trials of human existence.
Is all this in my blog right now? Of course not. It’s a work in progress, and sometimes my only goal is to post erotic photographs and write erotic stories that are interesting to view and read, while being sexually provocative and exciting enough to cause both men and women to feel titillated and aroused, and maybe to even get off. In the words of John Lennon, but used here in a sexual context, “I’d love to turn you on.” So let’s “Come together! Right now!” if we get lucky and I sure hope that we do, and that we do it often! 🙂
Did I mention that my blog also has a sense of humor? Never mind… I’ll let you be the judge of that. 🙂 But please only laugh if you really are, because I don’t want you to fake it, and I can almost always tell if you are faking it… even though that almost never happens when you’re with me, babe, and I even cum with verifiable references too. My cock is as big as the Empire State building, and just as hard when standing up straight! And if you believe that, well marry me honey! Cause you’re definitely my kinda woman! Oh jeese! Sorry, but I just remembered I already did that, and I can’t get married again right now. (Hi Laura! Love ya honey!) Lol 😀
I noticed the humor, yes! It’s been entertaining so far. I particularly enjoy your shout outs to your wife. Will she read this to see your mention? I certainly hope so. All that effort deserves some recognition. Lol.
I’m always curious to hear what people say their blogging purpose is so I appreciated reading your comment. I like the theme of your blog because I feel like there needs to be spaces that take a candid, positive look at sex.
Thanks for answering my question!
Thanks tor noticing the humor, and saying it’s been entertaining so far. I love making people laugh, or at least maybe smile a little bit, but I won’t sell myself too short. I have unintentionally caused many beverages to be expelled through noses when one of my humorous one liners makes a surprise direct hit. Numerous people refuse to eat their lunches anywhere near me, because I’m a sudden laughter inducing lunch food and beverage accident hazard, and the FDA is going to put a warning label on me in 2014 to let consumers know the risks before they consume me. (yep, still talkin’ laughter here and with the way that last line came out, just thought I’d let you that laughter is still the subject I’m on here.)
Laura? She takes an interest in my online wanderings every now and then, and I get lots of recognition from her, because she often recognizes what I’m up to, and she’s good at it. But she’s cool about it and she never causes any real problems. I just like to give her an affectionate hello every now and then, just to let her know that she’s my No.1 and always will be, and also because I’m a wise ass who enjoys playfully teasing her and always will be. 🙂
Thanks for your appreciation as well as your patience with my comment. Sometimes brevity is my strong point, but I’m working on that, and I’ll continue to try and remember that often less is more, especially when it comes to my word counts.
Yes, sexuality often gets an undeserved bad rap when it can be such a wonderful expression of love and caring intimacy shared between lovers.Thanks for recognizing and agreeing with my view that sex can be a very positive experience, and even more so when people view it that way, instead of misunderstanding and needlessly condemning sexual expression.
I think since I’ve gone off the grid a bit, I mainly have a blog to read other blogs…like yours! :]
Aw! I miss you blogging more often.
I like to read blogs that dont have a “purpose” or a fixed blogging schedule. The variety and the unexpected can be refreshing.
Hm… Maybe I just thought people wanted structure of some kind from me. I’d post a whole lot if I didn’t restrict myself. The stories alone are numerous, and I’d inundate this site with them if I didn’t relegate them somewhere else.
i can only speak for myself, and maybe i think that because i don’t have a structure or a theme, i just spout whatever falls out of my head. But i always enjoy your writing, whatever the subject and whatever the format.
I’m a big believer in writing for yourself, if you write from the heart then you will write your best.
I <3 RG. I really do. I appreciate your kind words and support.
In keeping a separate, private site, I find I do write better. I'm worried less about who will read. My writing has more focus then because I like it how it is.
That’s why i stay anonymous so that i can be honest and virtually no subject is off limits. I know that noone in the real world will read me and my writing has definitely benefitted from that.
Im constantly aware that anything i put on my blog can be seen by a perspective agent/publisher *gulp* 🙁 I have now got the diet blog, which is obviously a bit more personal, but i’d love to set up a totally anonymous one 🙂
Hm… I guess I never think about the fact that a publisher/agent could stumble upon this site. It just seems small potatoes and more a place that a reader would wander onto. Something to consider, I guess.
I dont think you’ve got any worries honey. Most of the stuff on your blog has relevance to what you write 🙂
Oh good. Lol.
Hey there C. – So, I’m going to be very honest (knowing full well how painful it is for you to take criticism). I’m not speaking for everyone. I’m simply speaking for myself. Here’s why I follow your blog: I like to read the stuff you talk about in your first two paragraphs above: the personal stuff – your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your desires. I like the real stuff that comes through. And that comes through most in your poetry. You have a wonderful way with words. You translate your personal experiences into language that transcends the personal such that the reader either sees him/herself in the thought or believes that he/she is the person being addressed. That’s talent! I’m going to admit, I don’t come here so much for the fiction, but I can see that others do and that you have developed a reading community. That’s great! Mainly, this blog is YOURS and so you should feel free to put up there whatever-the-hell you want! If people come along for the ride, then great. If not, well, you’re not a fucking politician, you don’t blow with the wind (no puns intended), you have what you have to say and you say it. Anyhow, you asked. I told.
(And, btw, it was great meeting you in person. Not awkward. And having read your blog it makes me realize that you are like the proverbial still waters that run so deep.)
This is one critique I took pretty well. I’ve not been motivated to create and share lots of poetry here lately. There’s a number of reasons for that, including not feeling free to express those real emotions anymore. Being too personal in any capacity has resulted in a host of issues that I’d rather avoid this time around.
I understand people are going to want certain things from me and connect better when in they read that thing. I do feel bad I can’t offer more of that to you, and in a lot of ways I’m hiding behind my stories because what else do I have to give if I can’t give myself. There’s no worry of certain things getting back to the people they shouldn’t. At this point, I’m just glad someone decides to stop by for a visit. It’s nice to see ya here either way.
I’ve had someone else tell me that. There’s a lot I don’t reveal and I’m sad I’ve lost the personal bit that shows more of me, but oh well. If my muse sees fit to express in poetry, I’ll post that offering.
It was great meeting you as well and I hope to see ya again soon. You both were a pleasure. 🙂