This topic has been circling in my mind a lot. The way we overlook the love we have for our friends and the way that can be just as fulfilling, if not more so, than romantic love.
I have two (2) really close friends. My definition of a best friend is pretty narrow. There are a lot of people I will talk to about a lot of things, but a best friend is someone I can tell just about everything going on in my life. So I have a lot of good friends, many acquaintances, but only two people I feel I can talk about many of the things in my life. They are my best friend, Bug, and Molly.
Bug and I have been friends for a decade. She knows about my kink, I mean she’s currently my roommate so she’s often home when I have someone over for play. She’s who I tell about what’s going on in my sex life. We have a judgment free, “be safe, not stupid” sex talk zone. I tell her a lot. She knows me pretty well, including that I’m an overthinking emotional mess. We toss around the phrase “platonic life mate” and have seriously talked about living together when we’re older/getting married so we could support each other. We aren’t physically affectionate with each other, and often don’t even hug, but we’re both bottoms so initiating that with each other seems strange. I love her, she’s my best friend. That love is deep and serious.
The nature of Molly and I’s relationship started very unconventionally. She was my sister wife. In our previous triad, I spent as much time with her as I did Michael. We had very little sexual interaction with each other, but we grew incredibly close. She’s beautiful inside and out. I’ve never met anyone as fierce and determined. And let’s be honest, we’ve been through some shit together over the last year alone. I love her deeply and tend to get a little emotional about that. We frequently say I love you to each other, and I mean it with everything I have. She’s been there for me in a way I can’t express and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell her how much she means to me.
Thinking on how much I love both of them, it made me think of how much we neglect platonic love. I love these women as much as I love my family, but in a different way. The only feeling closer is romantic love. That same intense feeling of love and care, desire to spend time with them, and be close. I’m sexually attracted to neither, but love them fiercely.
At times I wish platonic/non-romantic love took more center stage than romantic love. My friends have been there more for me then any of my lovers. They’ve been my fiercest defenders. They’ve stuck around when romantic love has fizzled out. Why is that not as, if not more important?
We should be shouting about our friendships and how they’ve endured and how we love our friends like family. Like something deeper than family. Let’s celebrate that more.
I love my friends and they mean the world to me.
I love you too. I am so happy we found one another and have this friendship. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing to me that I treasure.
It has been so lovely to see you and Molly come out of this tempest together, still friends, forever friends. Platonic love is so potent, and I agree, we don’t talk about it enough. I too have a platonic life partner in my bestie and I can’t imagine life without her.
Beautiful post and am so happy u have each other – you are both awesome and your relationship sounds wonderful too x
I enjoyed reading this, Cara.
I loved reading this.
This is beautiful <3
This is a very good point, Cara.