Kinks

The most obvious thing to do here is talk about kink, right?

I am kinky

I write a lot about the ways that I enjoy being spanked and used both in fiction and in real life ways. I’ve also discussed how I like being little and having a Daddy.

Do you know what’s one thing kinky thing I don’t touch on too often? My hair

For the large majority of my life, my hair was chemically straightened. It’s the perm process only to break the curl instead of create it. It requires things like (and any black girl of a certain age will know what I’m talking about) the hot comb if you don’t want to use chemicals or lye-containing products.

Oh, man. The smell of that stuff as it sat on your head. If left too long, it eats away at your scalp and you end up with nasty scabs/burns. All this to end up with hair that felt a bit damaged at the end of the process. Dry, limp, lifeless.

Around 5 years ago, I got tired of this. My roots would revert (where the curl throws off the chemical, in essence, and curls back up) really quickly so I’d have to get it done pretty frequently. I just said ‘fuck it’ and had my hairdresser cut it off. Best decision I’ve ever made.

Since then, I’ve allowed my hair to have it’s natural curl pattern. Not every black person/PoC has the same curl pattern. Shoot, my curl pattern changes depending on which part of my hair you’re playing in. Some of my hair clumps together and has no real curl to it, while others are the nice corkscrews only smaller and tighter. I like playing with those curls because they bounce so nice.

Anyway, my hair got pretty long (past my shoulders when I had it flatironed last). That’s the longest it’s ever been. And it was healthy! Can I tell you what a learning curve it was to take care of my hair? My mother had her hair natural with the Afro in the 70s, but has had hers chemically straightened for as long as I’ve been alive. That means I was in with the new wave of black women trying to understand and reclaim what it meant to have natural hair in a world where acceptance of that still isn’t where it needs to be.

This is another area where I’m still learning about myself. My hair and it’s kinkiness and my relationship to it. It’s grown since I’ve cut it and I’m waffling at doing another chop because keeping it healthy is a lot of work. Protective styles, leave in conditioners, hydrating product, and silk scarfs. Don’t forget the washing/detangling process. Chile..

I’m not really here to educate on black hair so much as talk a little about my hair. Though it makes me think of a pitch I may put forward about black hair in the white world, or black hair and hair pulling.