Home Improvements

“What the fuck is that?”

The dildo wobbled up and down on it when she tapped it with her finger.

She barely contained her giggle as she tapped the dildo again. “Bit of a DIY fuck machine, I reckon. Bet you’d enjoy seeing me wobble my fanny over that.”

“Good god, what will they think of next?”

The way his eyes bugged sent her into peals of laughter that made people stop and stare.

“Nosy lot.” He mumbled. “You’d think a little laughter wouldn’t turn a head in a place like this.”

“Look at this.” She tugged on his arm.

It looked like one of those mirrors you used to back out of a driveway. He stared into it, his reflection a bit warped.

“The tag says it would make a great sex mirror.”

“Sex mirror? For who? Cars and RVs?”

She stifled her laugh before touching the reflective surface. “Come on. We could lie down in the driveway and it can be our look out if cars drive by.”

“Yes. A great tool to assist me with scraping my knees on the cement and pulling a muscle in my ass as I’m trying to get my cock tucked away. A lovely companion to driveway sex.”

His deadpan face set her off again. She gripped her sides as he fingered the tag.

“The thing is criminally expensive too. I’d do just as well at the Lowes if you’re wanting your driveway sex on the cheap.”

That made him pause.

“Lowes does have some lovely pervertables though. I saw a very nice rope I wanted to try out on you.” That straightened her up real quick. “Perhaps a trip is in order. I could lead you into the back near the garden section and tie you up before an employee comes along. Maybe add a set of clamps and snap a picture too.”

The way her body swayed toward him said she was very agreeable to the idea.

“Do… do you want to go now?” Her voice wobbled on the question, so eager.

“Don’t you want to see anymore lovely contraptions?”

She looked around as though she’d forgotten where they were. “No, I’m good.”

He smiled to himself as they left the exhibit hall. A very productive visit to the Sexpo.