(Unedited ramblings alert!)
Okay, I feel like I need to say a bit more on the topic. Or maybe I’ve said too much already?
Anyway, I think most of my distaste for this stems from the fact that no real sustaining recognition is given with these “Top (insert whatever) Blogger” posts. I’ve been on at least once, low in the standings, and I was initially excited. But the long term effects aren’t there.
Contrary to what the life of this blog shows, I’ve actually been blogging in one form or another continuously for almost 10 years. The content has changed and I’ve developed a lot, but I’m not new to this. I comment as regularly as I can on other people’s posts even if they don’t post often. I engage outside of my own blog as much as work allows. I try, but it isn’t enough.
Who am I blogging for? Have I mentioned that I hate that question? I do. A lot actually. Why have a public blog if it’s solely for you? I want people to read, get off on, and respond to my stories the same way I do. I enjoy, love, breathe writing and I want it to be see and enjoyed/loved/breathed in with the same fervor. Lofty.
I can say with certainty that there is a formula to this and it requires work and the ability to garner the right following. I’ve tried some of those things. I actually had a situation on a blog long ago where I agreed to participate in an experiment to see if people can be driven to a blog under the right circumstances. Would you believe it worked. I did nothing and a few well orchestrated behind the scenes movements drove my stats through the roof.
It did not last. Maybe it’s my content? Me? My voice? My lack of effort and keeping up? I don’t know.
So what have I learned? Good content isn’t enough. You have to have a certain degree of determination and the ability to get people to advertise and work for you.
I’ve tried the publishing of books and the pushing of my blog. I’ve tried asking for beta readers and self-advertising. I’ve tried memes and other similar posts. I’m not good at asking for help so I end up giving up.
I know my writing is decent and engaging to a degree. I know I have dedicated readers who may or may not comment. I know the tricks to make it happen. But I also know I am not the kind of person who naturally brings that attention and keeps it. I am not engaging or decent enough.
It all sounds like whining, shunning things like Top Blogger when it can help. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m jealous and frustrated that my years of blogging mean very little in the scheme of things. I’m admittedly vain.
I want people to want to read without killing myself in order to get them to notice me. I’m not that amazing by any stretch so I just continue on and bitch about the lack of comments.
I tip my hat those those with the amazing ability to get people in the door to read their content. I can’t do all that which means I’ll just stop whining about what I don’t have. I’ll keep writing. That’s all I have is the writing.
Good luck to those wanting Top Sex Blogger spots. You’ll do well in the races. 🙂
Comments
I’m continually surprised anyone reads or follows me. I started blogging to talk, expecting an empty room. Then it got weird… Engagement is nice though. 🙂
Author
That’s a pleasant surprise. Lol. Nice when someone stumbles into your space and chats with you.
I think so. If your not careful and entire social circle can spring up around you! Which of course I dearly love
Here’s what I think – do what makes you happy. Write what you want. Promote the way you want (or don’t). At the end of the day, it’s your blog and your loyal followers (of which I am one) will be around to support, like, comment, lurk, and occasionally hijack your comment thread. (Sorry!).
Author
I think I’m going to go back to just writing stories that I like and want to share. Trying to “live above my means” and thinking I can handle or do more isn’t going to work. I’ll just be a blogger who writes and visits other like minded individuals’ blogs.
I agree with Cara on pretty much every point…ok EVERY point. I do want people to read and actually gain something useful. From the scant feedback that I have received (most of it behind the scenes – directly sent to me) has been powerfully affirming that what I write about helped and made things better for them. I am not a sex therapist though I offer suggestions and examples on my blog that would fit into a (kinky,erotic) arm of therapy. I am not a sex blogger but the examples that I provide (the experiences my wife and I enjoy) do offer some arousal for my readers.
Based upon the search terms and referrers to my site, I am striking a chord with a select segment of those seeking guidance in this department. What I didn’t expect was that my bigger audience segment is female (which is both cool and somewhat disheartening considering the stated mission of my blog).
Author
But ladies refer other ladies and before you know it more people are reading and enjoying. Or reading their posts to their lovers.
That is if ladies can realize the potential (pleasure) of such a loving and erotic act without an up-welling of negative (conservative) reactions.
Author
I think if they stick around, you’re safe from the nasty comments.
Nasty comments, I can handle (and, actually enjoy!!). It is the stone-cold silence that is excruciating. 😉
Author
Me too. Hang in there.
Well, we filled up your thread with a wonderful conversation (I thoroughly enjoy chatting with you!)!
Author
until next time. 🙂
I think we’ve gone a bit nuts on this idea that everything is a competition, especially in activities that aren’t even competitive. I think you’re a lovely writer and if you enjoy doing it then do it, I believe your soul will benefit and there will be us around who will read it and enjoy it. What more could a writer want…well besides fat stacks of cash lol. xo
Author
Fat stacks of cash! I’ll take that.
I get into this pattern of dissatisfaction with the way things are. Writing is how I express myself, but I like knowing someone is reading. I’ll just continue on.
I still read, even though I tend to binge read lately! :]
Love you!
Author
Love you too! You’re my favorite binge reader. Hehe
I don’t get to read as often as I like. i blog but not on a consistent basis. I have trouble drawing readers as well so I sympathize with your situation. I don’t know that I have an answer but I do know I love the way you write.
Author
I know blogging is tough for everyone. I just get whiny I guess. I need to pick to my reading a bit more.