Both mentally and in general. I’m damn fine, ya dig. 😉
Honestly, I think I panicked this morning. Where last night was born out of curiosity, male persistence, and a large dose of sexual attraction (he had a banging body and smelled so good)… This morning was the realization that I wouldn’t have been in this position a year ago (and by that I mean on my back, pulling some guy’s hair as he screwed me). It was literally a night and day moment made worse by too little sleep.
It’s weird too that while a small part of me wants it to be more than a one time thing, I’m largely happy with the fact that I just had him to scratch an itch. I wanted him in the now and know he’d be a dud in the long term.
So, after giving my mind a minute to slow down its frenzy I realized that this is all part of my imperfect journey. All this is helping me learn what I like. I didn’t post what I did to garner sympathy or even to ask for help. I poured out what I did because it’s easier to write it all down and in the writing force myself to see. Life makes sense when I write it out.
In conclusion, I like having my nipples bitten, my ass slapped, and my hair – when I have it – pulled. I just need time to articulate the change into the mental image of the person I am and want to be. With that I also need to set up goals and give myself boundaries. I’ll be trotting out my 30 before 30 list soon, and want to be active in the pursuit of finding and understanding every part of me.
I’ve tried many of the things I said I would in the last three months and have enjoyed it. So, yes, I’m mentally fine and damn fine as well.
Meeeoooowww
Comments
” this is all part of my imperfect journey.”
Yup! Two thumbs up to this post. 🙂 Love the photo, too!
Author
A little change in perspective and I’m feeling less lost.
So glad to hear it, girl! And damn those men that smell good… Mmm. I have a bad habit of telling them when they smell good, even strangers! *hugs and kisses*
Author
I do too! I wanted to eat him up he smelled so good. I’m a sucker for a good smelling man with a great body.
Sounds like a yummy moment. In time that is what you will remember not the self struggle.
Author
Oh, it was. I got to sink my teeth into his tight little ass. That alone was worth the visit. Lol.
Cheers Darling!:-)
Author
Thanks.
Author
She was just in hiding earlier I suppose.
So glad you are feeling yourself today, and have resolved to have other people help you out with that.
Author
I’m hoping I can keep my head on straight. Anyway, in the light of day things didn’t seem quite so bleak.
Good for you.
Cheers kiddo.
Author
Lol. Thanks.
🙂 sorry my wrist hit the Post Comment icon… As I was saying, good on you. And I just LOVE that picture, super super sexy hot. Now I can press Post Comment 🙂
Author
Lol. I appreciate all the comments I can get even the accidental ones.
Men who smell good will get ya every time! Which doesn’t sound so bad… 🙂
Author
I’ve always had a weakness for nice smelling men. Add muscles and I’m struggling to keep my thighs shut. Like my kryptonite!
Sorry, I’m stuck on the whole part about on your back pulling his hair while he screwed you, letting him scratch an itch, all that stuff. Yeah…this world needs many many more women like you.
Author
Oh not did I ever pull his hair. I knew I was only getting that night so I got as much out if him as I could.
Awesome
whoa!
Sleep and perspective are beautiful things.