It was an obligatory kiss. Too perfect in its execution to be anything but fake, mirroring the look in his eyes as he held her in his arms.
She resisted the urge to wipe her hand across her mouth when he released her. The smell of coffee still on his breath seemed to linger on her lips threatening to turn her stomach.
“How was your day, Stella?” He didn’t bother looking at her as he stripped out of his work clothing, his tone betraying his lack of care about her reply.
Now that the perfunctory taste of intimacy was through he treated her like a roommate. She twirled her wedding ring in an absentminded way, her mind lamenting a number of things as she watched him undress.
She wasn’t immune and no matter how hard she tried the sight of his naked body still had the power to excite her. Muscles rippled along his broad back, firm ass bunching as he pulled off his slacks. Her body softened and slicked, wanting him. She recalled the last time they’d made love with passion and her core clenched at the memory. Hair pulling, ass smacking, and guttural groans as he took what was his. It made her nostalgic and hungry. Just the thought created a sudden desperation to reclaim what she knew was probably already lost.
“Travis, make love to me,” She breathed, her voice husky with need. Rising to her knees on the bed, she felt a degree of power as he turned and caught the lamp lit outline of her body through her gown.
Stella felt his eyes move over her. For a moment, a tender moment as they stared into each others’ eyes, they were both open and vulnerable. For a moment she saw a flicker of heat, recognition, love, passion. But almost before it burst fully into life, Travis’ eyes shuddered and the emotions disappeared. She felt the air go out of them both as he cut her off like always.
“Not tonight, Stel. I’m not up for it tonight.”
She sank down into the mattress and stared at his back. As he pulled on his pajamas of a cotton t-shirt and boxers, Stella saw things clearly. This was what their life had become and how it would remain. Him uninterested and her unwanted, but neither brave enough to leave their comfortable arrangement.
Pretended intimacy, no possibility of passion.
She let the pillow catch her pained sob as she lay down beside her husband, accepting her place in their romance.
This is so painful and the courage to stand up and walk away even while it rips your own heart to pieces is hard to summon but sometimes is the only answer would love to read more and see what choices she makes
Walking away is hard. Something about the familiar seems to hold us prisoner.
It is sad to see a relationship crumble, the intimacy just slip away. Should you leave, before it fades totally, while you still have time in your life to find a little happiness? Should you take the risk of having a lonely existence; is that worse than being around what you used to have, hoping it may come back but knowing it will not?
I imagine its the comfortableness that keeps us in place. Fear of the unknown? What if I can’t find someone else? I’ve thought these things in my short term interactions. Dating is hard work and having to charge back into after having had the stability of someone for years would be overwhelming.
Thank you for saying so
Not sure how I missed this one
So glad I found it though
Exactly what I’ve come to expect of Cara – concise, so vivid and relevant – it almost hurt to read it
I’m glad it was up to par! Thanks for reading. 🙂