Oh dating. Nothing produces more DAFUQ moments then trying to wade the dating pool.
I’m pretty new to the dating scene (lack of prospects + lack of opportunity = lack of dating), but I’m finding the whole thing funny at times and disconcerting at others. Some guys come on waaaaay too strong!
Yes, I do want a spanking, but I determine when/where/how much. And by who. I’m willing to talk about that and other things of a sexual nature, but I’m not doing a damn thing with you until I determine whether you’re someone with whom I’m willing to share that intimate moment.
Like who asks a girl you’ve just started chatting up to a strip club? Yes, I’ve been and enjoyed it, but it was a special circumstance. I’m not going to just go to a strip club with a guy I just met. On a first date.
Pssh, boy please. You trippin’. I’d take a coffee date instead.
So then my issue becomes how to let these guys down? How do I say…
“You’re not my type. Honestly, you’re pushy, odd, and more awkward than I am. Perhaps I should run the hell away from you immediately. Kthxbye.”
…without hurting someone’s feelings? Seriously… How?
I’m not trying to string these guys along. I’m bad a rejecting a) because I have so little practice at it, and b) I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I like the attention, but there’s some strange people out there.
Speaking of… I have a date Thursday night. Lets see how that goes. Who wants to be my emergency call in case it doesn’t go well?
I got a good laugh from this. Was I supposed to? And I’d offer my number but I’m way too far away to do much good in terms of emergencies…
Yea, I was going for funny, mostly because its been funny.
I literally LOLed. For reals.
Me too at some of the stuff these guys say.
As creepy as it sounds I think I’d enjoy listening to you laugh. Especially at the things guys say…we say some silly things.
I’m not sure if my laughter is enjoyable or not. Hm. And these guys are beyond silly
For me it isn’t necessarily the sound of the laugh but hearing and sharing the enjoyment of silly things.
Ah, gotcha. 🙂
you deserve to be treated like a lady – but let him do things for you.
We’ll see how this goes.
Be a woman and tell them early girl – you don’t want creepiness hanging around. That would be worse, wouldn’t it!?
I am/will. It’s just not something I’ve had to do before.
First dates…eek! You can call me!
I know, right? Super awkward.
Once you have decided it is not going to happen, you should tell them. It is unfair to them and uncomfortable for you to let it carry on longer than it has to. YOU know it is not going to happen, no matter what they do or say (well, maybe unless it is handing you the keys to your new Ferrari, and even then…).
How you do it? As generously as you can but with no hint or possibility of a future.
Even keys to a nice car isn’t enough. Well, maybe…
It’s so much like criticizing someone’s work. “This isn’t the right fit for me. I just didn’t enjoy it plus I cringed a lot at what was said.” I’m sure someone else will find them lovely, its just trying to say it as politely as possible.
I took a stab at it just now and will probably have to do so with the strip club gent. What a weird position to find myself in.
A friend of mine told me that the phrase ‘I’m sorry, this does not work for me” works very well in all sorts of circumstances, not just in dating. The trick is to simply restate the phrase rather than join in any discussion about the whys/hows/whatifs.
IMHO, going to a strip club as a first date is unacceptably sexual. And you know what that leads to, don’t you? Without any of the olde fashioned stuff like coffee/cinema/dinner/wine/chocolates/flowers/zoo trips/Ferraris/social drugs (please select all that apply).
I like talking about sex when I communicate with someone, but I’m not doing something overtly sexual with you without at least a mundane meeting to go with it. I need more than sex from the interactions.
I understand that whole want-to-be-nice-but-go-the-hell-away thing. Sometimes you just have to say, “I hate to seem rude, but boy please!” /giggles I would TOTALLY be your emergency call…if I could actually be of help. 🙂 Have fun! If nothing else, the dating pool could be great blogging fodder…
It’s damn good fodder!! I’m appreciating the experience.
Best of wishes and I will hope the gentlemen are more behaved. I have nill experience in the turning down department, but I’d say experience will probably be the best teacher and at least you have the kind heart to not want to hurt anyone, so maybe it’ll make it a little easier.
I hope I figure it out. I had some great articles passed to me that I’ll share soon on the topic.
I personally always just say, “thank you, but I have to decline.” I try to be respectful that even though they sometimes come off like dicks, it still takes a lot of guts to ask a woman out.
I agree. I think that’s why rejection is hard to dole out because I commend them for having the balls to ask.
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You can always call me and if I don’t answer, pretend I did and leave me a random message. lol
I should do that! Just to say something entertaining and get out of a lame date. Lol