Check here for love

She sat down, toggled to the still empty page, and thought about what she wanted.

I want love with a healthy dose of kink.

She erased that line. What the fuck was she actually looking for in a relationship? Not just someone to spank her ass, but someone to lead her. She wanted to be loved, cared for, and made to feel safe.

How did she say that? Maybe she could make a list and then work from that. What did she want in a guy?

1.Conversation- deep

2.Someone who understood the spiritual aspect of things even if they didn’t agree

3.Dominant who gauged her needs

4.Someone who loved traveling

5.A foodie

6.Adventurous

7.Someone who encouraged her creative side

8.Someone who could challenge her

9.Someone who would hold her without being asked

10.Someone who made her feel wanted in the right ways.

She looked at the last line. Wanted in the right ways. Not just for sex, but adored, wanted beyond just pleasure in connected parts. But she didn’t know how to give a list of things that someone would look at and go, “yea, I’m definitely all those things.” Maybe her list wasn’t a good one.

She tried a different tactic.

I’m not here just for kink. Kink is an important part of my life, but I want kink with someone who will take care of me. Who understand that learning someone takes time, especially someone who is submitting themselves to you. I want someone who is willing to get to know me over time.

I’m looking for a guy who will talk to me both in person and via text.

I’m looking for a guy that understands that sex without a connection leaves us both cold. I want a man to look me in the eye make my heart stutter without his cock being anywhere near me.

Was that appropriate to say? She paused and thought, watching the cursor blink. She should say something about wanting a guy who liked to travel, or eating at new restaurants, or who liked cooking and trying different foods?

“It’s a kink site. Does anyone care about those things on a kink site? I don’t want just kink though. I need love when someone is calling me a whore.”

She typed that last line out.

I need love before someone can call me a whore.

She erased that line.

I need to know I can trust you with my body as much as my heart.

That sounded better, but she wasn’t sure she was even on the right track. Maybe something about herself would help.

I’m a traveler. It’s in my blood and I won’t sacrifice that just to be with someone. I’d prefer someone who would travel with me, experience life with me. I’m an independent woman with a submissive side, but I’m unwilling to be that for just any person who calls themselves a Dom. I’m looking for someone to be my friend first and then slowly evolve into a man I would kneel for every day. I love to eat and keep fit, but sometimes I love eating more than being fit. Someone to eat new foods with one day and run/workout at the gym with the next day would be great.

I’m evolving daily. I battle my need for love against my fear of rejection. I’ve had plenty of men treat me like a piece of ass instead of someone they’d love long term. I’m tired of never being someone to love. I want someone who will seriously consider me as more than just a spanking partner.

She sat back in her chair and looked at what she typed.

“That’s clear enough, right?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Not too desperate.”

Doubts assailed her, but she pushed them down. If someone wasn’t willing to read and understand her, then they weren’t worth considering. She needed more and it was time to find it.