I’ve decided to take a break from dating.
The dissolution of… Whatever I was just dabbling in has left me feeling fragile. I was once again too much and not enough for someone. Oh the gentle letdown of “deserving someone who makes you a priority.”
The sad thing is I can’t stop myself from hoping I’ll get a text from him. Why? For a handful of reasons, but the one that tugs at me is I want to know that I meant a little more to him than I know I did. I want to know that I’m on his mind enough to want to text me. I want him to regret…
Petty, but reality. Not true, but reality. Heartbreaking, but reality.
It’s this reality that tells me I gave too much, and it’s this reality that says I need to step back for my own self-evaluation. So I’m challenging myself to a year of abstaining so I can see what kind of person I am on the other side. This is intentional though I need to clarify what things I’ll be abstaining from. Dating for sure, but other things may take a pause as well.
When I was going through my spell of not dating, I hated it. Now that I’m on the flip side of that, I’m jaded and done. I may miss the chance to meet someone, but at this point I’m am not open to it anyway. And don’t bother with the platitude of meeting someone when you stop looking. That one irritates me so let’s skip it all together.
Time to do something different.