Musing. It’s the last day of my challenge to write a post everyday in November. This is where my mind is…
I hate my breasts.
No… What I meant to say is I hate the stretch marks on my ass. The cellulite and the unsightly lumps.
That’s not it either…
I’m meeting a lover soon and contemplating the urge to buy sexy lingerie. See, I move too damn much and have no pretty things in which to wrap myself in so I debated buying something to showcase my best features. This led me down the dangerous path about my figure.
I don’t mind being naked in front of other people. Especially not lovers. I figure if you’re wanting to have sex, my form can’t bother you too terribly much so why hide it?
But I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t have moments where I was acutely aware that my assets aren’t that great.
I don’t look sexy in lingerie or I don’t think I do, which makes getting it to look sexy on me for someone else seem stupid.
I want to look sexy! I want to be commanding! I want my boobs to be perky and my ass to be flawless!
So… Do I buy sexy lingerie or not? I still haven’t settled on it.
He wants me to dominate him. To spank his ass and make him kneel. I want to do those things and more, but I want to look the part of the in control, confident mistress.
They have perky breasts, don’t they?
I’m staring at a pierced nipple as I lay naked in bed. It’s hard from my looking, but I’m not touching. Only examining and accusing.
I’m not sure what I’m asking for from him or from myself. Maybe that we both care little about the trivial imperfections of my body? I can’t cover it up and I don’t want to. It’s one of the reasons I loathe makeup. I feel fake underneath and it’s uncomfortable to me.
So lingerie or no lingerie?
He tells me he loves my ass. Did he get a good look it the last time? I can’t hold back my skepticism over his love because surely he didn’t get a good look!
I’m sure if he stared at it as much as I did he wouldn’t say that.
Right?!
I think I’ll buy the damn lingerie. For me, not for him. I need to feel sexy right about now.
Comments
We are our own worst critics. I’ve seen your Boobday pics and have no doubt how sexy you are – in or out of lingerie. Hopefully one day you’ll see it too.
Author
The boobday pics are carefully crafted things of wonder. They look so much hotter in a bra than out of it.
Now you’re just making me roll my eyes. As I’ve said before, take the damn compliment. You think that the average person (one who wears – or removes – bras themselves) can’t tell what part of it is the bra and what is you?
Please, please, PLEASE listen to Kayla, Ann, me and everyone else, Cara! You are sexy! I have especially loved YOUR boobday pics going back so far as you have been participating! They are hot in and out of a bra.
I think it is all in your mind – your domination, your control…may be you should go for something that you are comfortable with….
Author
A bra and panties it is!
Oh Cara…I can so relate to this. The see-saw of confident with lovers but disliking some of what you see when you step back and assess << see what I did with that last word?
I can't stand my ass. It's bumpy and big. But some LOVE it and I have to hold back the sarcastic comments. Because they, like your lover, aren't lying.
I say buy the lingerie if it makes you feel sexy. I have found hanky panky boy shorts look awesome…they are the only boy shorts that do (the rest are just hideous)… and even I might start to like my ass in them 🙂
You are sexy…but it helps when you also believe it to be true 🙂
Author
It never seems to stop them from going at me like they’re starving. A fact I find astounding. I’ll sort out what to wear later. I guess the feelings about my body will take longer to sort out. If I ever do.
Yeah, I know what you mean. The first time I was with Andrew, he kept saying to Jason “oh my god man, you never told me about her ass” and all I could think of was “really?”.
But of course I let him worship me 🙂
It sounds like you do as well. Which is a very good thing.
Lumpy? PLEASE! From what I’ve seen, I have serious doubts as to your self ass-essment, though I am right there in my self loathing. Cara’s ass is sexy as hell!
Trust me, dear. Really.
I am learning that there are certain things that I can trust you on implicitly and others that I need to exercise a little more caution with you. 😉
lol….Oh women, you hold yourself to much too high of an artificial standard then us men do…I blame Photoshop I guess. from what Ive seen of your photos you look gorgeous and im sure many think your assets are that great.
Author
It’s more than just photoshop. That doesn’t help, but the issue runs deeper. Just how girls are targeted. It’s hard to overcome that.
lingerie ONLY for yourself. If a lover appreciates it, so much the better.
Author
Yea, I’ll go with what makes me feel good.
I couldn’t agree with Kayla and Ann more. Look at what three babies did to my ass and boobs! Buy the lingerie (my most recent was the fishnets and I ACTUALLY loved how everything looks!)!
Let’s not kid ourselves, you have a sexy ass and your boobs are beautiful!
Hugs!
I suspect the paddle will the the adornment most on his mind, so I agree dress in what pleases you. Don’t be so quick to sell yourself short 🙂
Author
Hahaha. It’s not a paddle I’ll be using. 😉
A corset always seems to be in style 🙂
Congratulations on completing your November Challenge… I sure enjoyed it. I should send you a photo of the results of your words.
Author
Hahaha. I’ve seen your expert photo taking. I wouldn’t turn that offer down. 😉
I know, we’re each our own worst critics, seeing flaws that others would never notice.
That being said, I think your breasts, ass and all of your others pieces are wonderful and your lover is a lucky man 🙂
Author
You’re a good man, my friend.
wow – deeply powerful!
For me, you finished the post in exactly the right frame of mind: for you!
If you’ve read my posts on men’s underwear, you’ll not be surprised to hear I buy what I buy because it makes me feel sexy. Possibly an unusual thinkg for a straight guy to admit, but there you go. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve looked in the mirror and thought “these looked so much better on the model on the website – I really need to get into shape.” But that doesn’t stop me feeling sexy when I stop looking in the mirror.
The same goes for my Wife. With all due respect, She doesn’t have the figure of a lingerie model, and if I’m brutally honest, lingerie looks better on other people than it does on Her, but I think that’s because I can sense that if She’s wearing it it’s not because She wants to. HOWEVER, and it’s a big however, I love seeing Her in sexy lingerie, especially if I’ve bought it for Her, far more than I like seeing the same lingerie on lingerie models. Because She’s my Wife.
On a different nots, if you want to dominate your man, and he wants you to, and you want what you wear to feed into that dynamic, have a look at rubber. Seriously. Get the right garment and it can make most figures look … better … ??? … is that the right word? I’ve got a post written that will be going live in the next week or so that might give you an insight. But don’t rule it out straight away.
Author
Leather? I’ll have to see this post because I’m not so sure about leather my friend. I’m not so sure about me in leather more accurately
I don’t have much experience with leather. I have a pair of leather briefs, but they’re not nearly as good rubber as it’s a much heavier fabric and less flexible. It certainly goes with a dominatrix image, but rubber can do that just as well and has other benefits. My guess is the difference between cheap/expensice leather is more pronounced than cheap/expensive rubber.
Author
I must just have leather on my mind. Because I substituted that with rubber. Still not so sure about that, but I’ll look at for that post.
“I’ll try anything once. Twice if I like it. Three times to make sure.” Mae West
Author
Touche
I agree with the commenters that we can certainly be harsh critics of ourselves. MUCH harsher than other people. And if the lingerie makes you feel sexier, then by all means go for it. It could be the similar affect of a new suit and a power tie for a guy, or new clothes or new jewelry for a woman. If wearing that special something makes you feel more confident, more attractive, then wear that sucker.
Author
Sometimes its just nice to know i look sexy in something. Guess I’ll see what I actually end up doing. It’s hard to overcome our thoughts about ourselves.
Oh Cara! Have you taken a look at that profile picture of yours lately? Now I dare you to tell me that’s not a sexy woman!
If you go to last Boobday’s post, you’ll see I left a comment about hos I wished you’d been a part of it.
When we look at ourselves (and I do that too, and I strongly believe it’s not just women who do that), we tend to focus our attention to those parts we don’t like about ourselves. For you, it’s the lumps and stretchmarks on your ass, for me it’s the same thing on my breasts and tummy. Or the extra weight that I should lose. or…
But if I’m honest, if I look at myself through the lens of my camera, like other people would, or on the days when I’m honest and look at the whole person rather than parts of me, I see the ‘sexy’.
Like Accidental above, I like that you end the post in the right light. Whether you buy lingerie should eventually be for you.
If you need to dominate this man, then you need to feel confident in yourself, and the last thing that does that is if you’re thinking all the time ‘Oh, that I can’t bend in this top, boy I wish this thong wouldn’t be so uncomfortable’ or such things. Wear something that makes you feel powerful and sexy. Whether it’s new lingerie or thigh highs and a hat… you get to choose. This said, I also agree with Bill above: if you’re going to dominate him, it may not be the lingerie that gets him going the most 🙂
Thank you for this honest post. So many of us can relate, it’s nice to know we’re not alone 🙂
(and I hope we get to read about the experience, whether or not you decide to dwell on what you are or are not wearing at that time 😉 ).
Author
Oh, I’ll most definitely be sharing some aspect of the experience here. I have a feeling it’ll knock my socks off in every delicious way possible. Why would I keep that to myself?
So you’re thinking of wearing socks? 😉
I’ll be looking forward to reading what it is you get up to 🙂
Author
You know, i may have to wear some socks for the occasion.
Lol!
Pictures will be a must 🙂
I am sure no one will complain. I hope you bought the lingerie!
Author
Tomorrow I may. We’ll see.