I’ve decided to post this here. My decision was born out of my belief that I will never be a successful published author. I’m not saying it because I want a pity party, just stating facts as I see them. I’m okay with it, but it doesn’t make my desire to write less strong. So I share with you. The content is heavy as a warning (the only warning you’ll get from me). This first part is more of an epilogue on re-reading/editing. 

If they see weakness, they will exploit it. 

“Haley!” The sharp voice of her boss, Mr. Frankie, drew her out of her daydreams.

She knelt beside the shelf of t-shirts and tried to appear busy. The man was a dirty creep; it was the way he looked at her as if he pictured her naked that made her skin crawl. If it wouldn’t cost her this crummy job, she’d smack the look off his face.

He’d made a few comments, touched her once or twice, but nothing more. Yet. She ignored the possibility as she folded another shirt. It wasn’t enough to quit, but she tried her hardest to stay out of his way as much as possible.

Why was he even there today? It was his supposed day off.

Not like this was a dream job, working in a curio shop in the middle of L.A, but it was better than being homeless. Finding a new job was just not possible with economy. No one was looking for another twenty-something high school drop out to flip burgers for them either. She’d just endure his tantrums and leers until something, anything better came up. If something better came up.

There was that ever-present wave of despair she couldn’t shake. She could endure, but she couldn’t seem to dodge that sense of doom hanging over her. Haley could use a touch of hope in the shit show her life had become.

But eight months in LA hadn’t shown her much in the way of hope yet.

She heard the rapid clack of her manager’s feet moving around the shop, searching for her. Maybe if she pretended not to hear him he’d go back to whatever he was doing in the back.

“Haley,” he barked. “Get to the register right now.”

She narrowed her eyes and debated the merits of ignoring him. It was easy to say she just hadn’t heard him. She huffed at the impossibility of that in a store with awesome acoustics. You could hear the toilet flush no matter where you stood.

A soft sigh left her as she realized it would be smarter to deal with his nonsense before he got angry.

As she made her way to the front, she considered what error she’d made. The man took pleasure in giving her a hard time. She’d busted her ass to keep this bullshit job even when keeping her mouth shut cost her so much  dignity. What could he possibly have to bitch about today?

The one glimpse of his face told her it didn’t matter what she’d done, he was ready to dig into her anyway.

He’d almost pass for okay looking if it wasn’t for that beady eyed stare of his. He was a touch too lanky with thinning blonde hair and a mouth that stayed pinched. And those damn murky brown eyes of his that cruised over her body. The man gave her the creeps in every way.

She kept a noticeable distance between them as she stepped behind the counter. Folding her arms, she affected a bored tone.

“You need me?”

“Where have you been, Haley?” His voice was deceptive in its niceness. Playing at being her friend?

She couldn’t help rolling her eyes “Folding shirts like you asked me to an hour ago, sir.”

There was no keeping the attitude out of her tone as she tossed the ‘sir’ at him. If he wanted true respect, he needed to act like someone deserving of it for once.

His face changed in an instant. He advanced on her, the suddenness of it causing her to back up until he trapped her between his body and the countertop. Then he was right against her, in her face and breathing on her. His hands lifted to either side, pinning her in place.

“When I call you’re name,” he began, his hips coming into contact with the inward dip of her pelvis. She could feel his hardening cock and wanted to vomit, but tried to tamp down her revulsion. “I expect you to be here immediately. Do you understand?”

Haley opened her mouth to say all the snappy things bouncing around in her head, but no words came out. That usual paralysis halted her words. She gritted her teeth and nodded, anything to move this along.

“Good,” he murmured as his lips brushed her ear. She stared blindly, just controlling the rage that bubbled up when she felt his hand cup her breast.

He squeezed hard and her breath hissed out between her teeth. She coached herself through. He’ll cop his feel and then go away, maybe then she’ll be able to get back to work. Haley squeezed her eyes shut when he rubbed himself against the seam of her jeans. His hands slipped under her shirt, bypassed her bra, and his fingers tweaking her nipple. It was easy blocking out the sensations so she felt nothing.

It was tempting to hurry him along, taunt him a bit to encourage him. Maybe if he got what he wanted he’d leave her the hell alone finally. The need to fight warred heavily with the need to give in and be done with it.

“Just let me have a little taste,” he murmured. She felt the top button of her jeans come undone. “Just a little one.” He tweaked her nipple so hard he hips jerked forward into his erection. “You’d love it, wouldn’t you? You’d love for me to put my fat cock inside you, wouldn’t you?”

Her hands lay in tight fists at her sides now. The tug at her pubic hair jolted her, loosing a wave of sensations and emotions.

“Don’t.” The word slipped out without her realizing it was on her tongue.

He either didn’t hear her, or didn’t care. The touch of his fingers to her clit was the last straw. There was a tiny spark of arousal that scared the shit out of her and had her pushing against him.

“I love feisty girls,” he breathed into her neck as he ground into her thigh.his teeth scraped her rapid pulse and she pushed back in a panic.

The ding of the front door was her saving grace. He sprung away from her as though on fire. Anger and lust danced in his eyes and she briefly wondered if he’d touch her even with customers in the store.

She saw the moment he came back to his senses. He didn’t look any less evil, simply more contained.

“Get back to work.” He snarled before walking out from behind the counter.

Haley pulled herself together as he disappeared into the back. There would be no respite now. He’d started it and wouldn’t quit until he’d gotten what he wanted. People like him never backed down and it always got worse until they succeeded.


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      1. paulaacton

        I will say after I questioned why she was so calm and had the let him get it over with attitude and decided in my head (which is probably wrong) that her backstory would mean there was either abuse in her past or some dark secret she is running from which limits her options for reporting him or losing her job, I look forward to reading more 😀

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  1. EleneSallinger

    C – I’m very furious right now. You are one of the most amazing, profound writer’s I’ve ever come across. Yet you continue to down yourself. There is absolutely no reason you will not be a successful published author other than the bombs you keep putting under your own feet.

    If you want it, it’s out there for you. Do you know how many rejections I still get? I’ve been universally rejected for a literary piece I’ve been shopping around. So what!

    I’m self-pubbing my next book. Nothing is stopping you, but you.

    I’m giving you an offer I don’t readily give anyone else. I will read and critique anything you send my way. Period.

    You know how to reach me.

    Much love and a spanking.


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      Cara Thereon

      I know, I give up too easily. It’s just hard to look at the response to my writing and feel like I’m going to make it. I tried publishing this on Amazon, but the blocked it because of content. I’m not sure what else to do with it. I’m not sure it’s long enough to put up for traditional publishing. I have other pieces in various stages of editing that I think I could try for, but… I know I keep saying “but”.

      I just don’t feel like I have enough of a presence even if my writing is strong to be successful. I don’t want to stop writing, just stop trying so hard to get noticed.

      If you truly are willing, I do have one piece I’ve been editing forever that I want to see published, but have given up on. Perhaps I’ll shoot you an email.

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          Cara Thereon

          This is actually part of a longer piece. I’d sent it to you before. I’m looking into wattpad now, but wasn’t sure I could through on Smashwords if they had the same policy as Amazon. I’ll definitely check out All Romance.

          1. EleneSallinger

            Smashwords allows erotica and All Romance goes truly hard core.

            If I remember, I sent that back to you with a cover? Didn’t I? It’s been a while.

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            Cara Thereon

            I’m not sure what the end result of that was. It still needs tweaking again so maybe I’ll play around with it some more. There are other things I could attempt to publish.

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  2. advizor54

    I like the start, I see a Smith & Wesson in his future. I agree with the others that you are much better writer than you give yourself credit for. If no one else publishes, publish yourself. And yes, you have lots of willing editors who are here to help

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