Part Talk

I’m… Uncomfortable right now.

That makes no sense, but it encompasses my feelings perfectly. Uneasy, awkward, unsure all express my current state.

Full of good stories that I’m not putting to page
Frustrated by my current relational state, but unwilling to change it
Unbelieving of the supposed appreciation sent my way (job/personal life/in general)
Overwhelmed by the new things happening in my life
Irritated by my perception of my lack of ability

I’m not unhappy, just uncomfortable.

Life needs a pause button because I’m feeling some type a way about it right now.

I wish I could write the perfect story to express everything. It circled like a vulture in my mind, but it would’ve been a jumble of nonsense. Even poetry isn’t enough. Shoot, this isn’t relieving the pressure in my head, but there’s not enough fudge or beer in the world to fix it.

Only to say I don’t want to jump through hoops right now. I want to be wanted for the things I offer. I don’t want to be an afterthought. I want to get it right the first time. I want the heel kicking, ear drum shattering, hair tearing, temper tantrum I’m due. Because I don’t wanna anymore.

And a cuddle, but 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep would do. Or the ability to finish a story.

Feeling a lot like this photo I took. Interpret that however you’d like.

Comments

ralfast

May 7, 2014 at 9:53 pm

I put in a like cause I been there.

Naomi Baltuck

May 7, 2014 at 10:26 pm

I hope you find a way to feel better soon, Cara.

billgncs

May 7, 2014 at 10:45 pm

maybe uneasy is an internal cue to change something.

hubman38

May 8, 2014 at 2:04 am

((hugs)) my friend

'Tis

May 8, 2014 at 9:50 am

cuddles to you! xo

Hyacinth

May 8, 2014 at 10:03 am

I know that feeling. It’s awful, but usually temporary. Keep your chin up and feet moving. (HUGS) xx Hy

hispetitelle

May 8, 2014 at 10:18 am

It sounds as if you’re going through some growing pains and that’s a good thing. I’ve read that in order to institute change you have to do things differently like driving home a different way and brushing your teeth with a different hand. It’s a way of telling your brain that you’re ready for something new and different. ((hugs))