I’ve been in a mood lately. I’d like to blame the fact that I haven’t gotten laid or spanked in months, but it’s probably not related to that at all.
My body is just being mutinous in general and it’s having an effect on my creativity. I’m feeling unattractive and no amount of running (I run 3 miles 3 times a week) or job satisfaction (I’m working 40 hours and I’m feeling burnt out) is fixing my attitude.
I’m trying to stay with my goal to post something everyday until the end of the month, but work is killing me. I wouldn’t mind getting laid, but I’m still unsure about breaking my sex sabbatical I’m on. Dating has left me a little too wounded to be bothered with anyone.
So what does that get you for today’s post? Other than a pair of sweaty boobs?
Not much apparently. It certainly isn’t getting me anything except a salad.
Not sure about for you but I know at the minute singledom is bothering me more as most of my friends are in relationships and everyone is talking holidays, if I didn’t have kids would possible consider a singles holiday but I know it will pass and it will not be forever so I just remind myself all the crap I don’t have to deal with by being independant.
Paula already said what I was going to – urges are not bad but without good reason to go back on it, stick with what you’ve chosen for now.
When the time to end your sabbatical and when the feels are a little less raw, you’ll be a little clearer.
In this I suppose my literary-geekiness shows through but I would recommend telling yourself this when you feel stressed and worried about this stuff (which by the way is inconsequential and untrue because you are creative and beautiful):
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past,
I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone,
There will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
May or may not help, but in it’s own way, it helps me when things start to weigh on my mind. I’m not a religious person, I don’t pray my worries away or think that my prayer will help deal with them – I like this because repeating it a few times gives me a little focus, a few moments to let the worst of it pass and feel balanced again. 😉