Blogging while nekkid! Bare ass naked under my covers. Picture, if you will, a curvy brown skinned girl with a pierced nipple and her thighs spread so you can see her other piercing, lounging here thinking of ( ) as she blogs. Can you picture it?
Would you like a photo to go with it?
With an intro like that it’ll surprise you that my topic is kind of serious. It’s related to relationships and the baggage we bring as humans.
We’re damaged in many ways. Even when we have the perfect upbringing with the perfect life, there’s always some hang-up we deal with. We bring those hang-ups into every relationship, friendship, and interaction we have. We seem to function from our distorted view of life.
Maybe we struggle with commitment, with forming lasting friendships, with being honest, with being intimate, with trusting. All because something damaged us. Then we have the interesting task of trying to overcome those things so we can have a lasting form of love.
I was thinking about baggage yesterday as I was spending time with the new Mr. He was telling his story and I was thinking about what baggage I could cope with in a relationship. More accurately, what am I willing to dump on someone else?
I’ve got some serious hang-ups. I’m not sure when I’ll reveal those things to him, but I know mine affect my ability to trust, relax, and give certain things in a committed relationship. Communicating those things is important, but I wonder if my baggage would be too much to carry for someone else and if I have what it takes to shoulder someone else’s.
Think about quirks in the same way. Love, lust, and attraction blind us, but what behavior would be too much to take? I won’t ditch someone because of a small thing, but I want to be aware and accepting of the quirks too.
I want that acceptance from someone else too. Like my tendency to give the appearance of being indecisive. “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” My tendency to be headstrong and impulsive. My tendency to want to hide the parts of me I hate. And on and on…
This is just my general thoughts as I spend more time with (I need a nickname for him). I want to be thoughtful and aware with the right expectations.
The date went well by the way. We hung out and talked and I enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me, knowing he wouldn’t push me. We parted with a sweet kiss (big considering my thoughts on kissing) and I’m seeing him again today.
He could become a regular. Hard to tell, but we talked about seeing where this would lead and I’m open to that. Low expectations, guard up, but lots of fun to be had. 🙂
Comments
This might sound silly but I think in some ways it is actually not so much about carrying baggage but changing how you feel about it, I have just left a relationship after 17 years, and have unsurprisingly been thinking a lot about the past and how if different choices had been made, other roads travelled things might have been different and then it was like a lightbulb coming on I choose not too carry any baggage my ex choose to carry enough for the whole of wordpress and I realised to an extent it is a choice, I do not have a perfect past there were events I would not wish on anyone but I refuse to carry them forward as baggage instead I choose to look at my past as a series of brushstrokes some light, some dark but all contributing to making me who I am, to adding intricacies and detail, I don’t know if that makes any sense to you but at the end of the day your past is only part of you it will have as much influence on your future as you choose to allow it to have 😀
Author
I think that’s part of it, the perspective change. That’s a large part of love is the work of it and how we need to relearn how to do it as we grow as couples. My past doesn’t make or break me, but I know parts of me are affected by it, shaped by it.
And as we get older, the baggage and quirks keep adding up.
Author
Lol. So I’ve noticed.
The same here, I’ve been into a relationship, but if I do, I want me and my partner to understand our baggage, cope and work together as a team to stay committed in our relationship. For me wanna be fully committed and loyal in a relationship. On the top of your blog about being naked and us being able to picture and if we want to a pic of it. Are kidding or being serious. Just curious
Author
Just kidding. I don’t have a picture.
Cool, I’m just reading your archives now. I didn’t know you have fetlife. I got one too its goldbean, the same as here
Yeah, but we all have a picture of you in our heads. It’s delicious! 😉 (For the record, I type up my most intimate thoughts nekkid too..) 🙂
Author
Best way to do it. Lol
He could become a regular… I like the sound of that! We all have our baggage. Sometimes it protects us, and sometimes it hinders us.
Author
We’ll see. I do like him a great deal.
Baggage is our history and there to be learned from. And I’m sure you loved amazing lovely typing this up, dear!
Author
I agree. It is there to be learned from. 🙂
You my last reply I sent to you
Author
What??
I said ” I didn’t know you have fetlife. I got one too its goldbean, the same as here”.
Author
Gotcha. I appreciate you letting me know, but I wasn’t planning on friending you on fet. I didn’t see the need since you found me here. Sorry.
Ok, I wanted to contact you over there so we can share our content with each other before, talk and get know each other even more. You know
Author
Can I just ask what you’re hoping is going to happen? I’m a little confused as what exactly you’re hoping for because I don’t think my interest are aligning with yours…
You can remember, I asked if we can try do a story together and also chatting about our self. I just want us to do a story as test if its good or not. Also for the chatting, I just wanna go back to that as friends like talking about our day and experience together in our lives. Get my drift
Author
I already told you I don’t collaborate with people on stories. Period. Your approach to engage me is counterintuitive because it feels pushy. I’m asking you to back off. Politely. If I choose to engage you outside of this forum, I will do so. Bottom line: my choice to do so not yours. So do not ask me again.
Ok, I won’t, I wanted to give my reason. I got you and I promise
Glad it went so well and ended with a sweet kiss. Hopeful for you and yes, we all have baggage, guess it’s just what we do with it and how we handle it that matters. I like what someone else said about learning from it. I know some things have damaged me, but I have learned specifics about what I don’t want and do want in a relationship from it, so I guess it’s not all bad.
I seen your two new pics. You never disappoint and always beautiful