So, for all my frank exploration and talk of sex, what you don’t know is I’ve been pretty sheltered. Some of it comes from an upbringing with an over protective mother (aggravated by the early loss of my father and an older sister who got pregnant young). I just didn’t get out much. There’s more to it than all that, but that’s a storyline no one cares to read…
All this to say I’ve never been on a legitimate date before. I’ve had close guy friends take me out, but I’ve always felt like it was out of pity. How come a girl like you has never been asked out before? Hell if I know. This is why a date made my list.
I’ve been propositioned more times than I can count, but no man has ever asked me out to dinner. Makes me think I’m only good for sex. Sexy, but not worth respecting.
Let me cut that train of thought off before it careens down the track.
Anyway, if you remember my failed social experiment from last month, you know I wrote the Craigslist debacle off as a funny, weird thing. Something to laugh about, but never ever try again? Yes. What I didn’t expect was to continue a relatively sane, intelligent, though occasionally naughty conversation with someone.
We’re actually having dinner tonight. Not coffee or tea that ends in us playing (or planning to play, though I’m open to it). Just… A simple dinner date.
I want that. I want to just sit and muddle my way through conversation over sushi and drinks. I want to talk, give him a kiss goodnight, and smile because that’s all there is to it. But I’m nervous that it won’t go like that at all.
I want the simplicity of a dinner date without the expectation of sex. I’m far more complicated than most people realize. Again, you don’t have time to listen and there are things I’m too afraid to open up about. Maybe I’ll spill it all out one day soon and hope you’ll respect me enough after my honesty, eh?
Really, I want someone to see me as more than a great ass and tits. I am those things (mostly), but I want to be wanted for more than that.
Typical woman. Desire me, respect me, think about me bent over your bed, but always buy me dinner first.
So… Wish me luck, say a prayer, whisper good words for me. I’m excited not because I can check something off my list, but because I can get dolled up and hopefully have good conversation.
I’ll tell ya all about it. That and speed dating. Did I mention anything about speed dating?? Soon.
Comments
you’re worth dinner and conversation, and a good night kiss – and the wait that blossoms from interest to friendship to love in the proper time.
Author
Worth it, but it hasn’t happened yet.
you have my permission now 🙂
Author
Lol. Thanks.
a father’s rules for dating…
flirt a bit,
smile a lot
let him pay, or help you
go where the men are, take a golf class
🙂
Author
You had me until the last bit. Lol.
ok — how about a kayaking class 🙂
Author
Ahahaha
“God speed, and all who eat with her:-)”
I hope it is only as normal as you want it to be. And maybe just a bit more fun.
Author
LOL. Thanks I hope so too.
Hey Lady – you are in control here. You determine the limits. There was a style of femininity from the suffocating Victorian Times that women weilded with skill. Words and actions spoke before bodies did and it was just as hot! You have that. Do exactly as you want and if you’re comfortable and he’s comfortable, you just may be surprised at the outcome. This is a date and I’m SO happy for you!!! OH!!! wear a corset under your clothes to be your own secret of sexuality and femininity. You know, since you know how you feel and look in lingerie…it could work for you knowing you have that on and he has no idea. Make it fun for you. Have a great time whatever you do. Jayne
Author
I like that, the I’m in control bit. I think I forget that sometime, or don’t wield that power. Something I’ll remember as I get dressed. Seriously considering wearing that corset and letting him see it. 🙂
It’s SO easy to forget that the bottom line is You are in control. That doesn’t have to mean anything but the clear fact that you determine the outcome. You don’t have to be forceful or demure – it is what it is. If you accept that – you know amongst the fluttering butterflies, you’ll be fine as cherry wine!
Author
Thanks for the advice, Lady Jayne
Just ignore my advice and have fun – whatever that means for you.
Author
Lol. I’ll try to do that too. 🙂
I hope it’s a terrific date. 🙂
Author
Me too. I’m (really really) nervous
Dates can be a lot of fun. I think when the expectation of sex is low it’s even better. The lack of pressure can sometimes make it more fun. Not always, though. Depends on the chemistry, Good luck!
Author
Thanks. If nothing else, at least he was decent enough to ask. I get the experience
Let us know what happens! Feel free to email.
Author
Will do. 🙂
I’m excited for you and glad you’re taking him up on it. Perhaps it isn’t that you aren’t worthy of a date but that you’ve not yet had a date that was worthy of you. You know I think you’re more than worthy and would take you out for dinner at the drop of a hat. If you’d have me.
Author
I’d have you in a heartbeat! Lol.
Whatever the reason, I’ve always felt like the leper when it came to attracting intelligent, non-skeevy men. Maybe my luck is changing? Or I’m changing. Either or.
I’ve also heard that intimidation is a good reason that people aren’t asked out on dates. I don’t buy it personally, but I can see that being true with you.
Author
I’ve been told I’m intimidating by people who don’t know me. I don’t think I’m intimidating though.
See, exactly why I don’t buy it when given the same reason. – If only you knew me you’d know how accepting, warm and loving I can be.
Have a great time!!
Author
I’ll certainly try. 🙂
Good luck BT and enjoy the date 🙂
Author
Thanks!!
oh and PS dont tell everyone but ive barely been on any dates either. and those i have been on didnt lead to everlasting love.
Author
Thanks. <3
I hope you enjoy it as much as he certainly will!
Author
I enjoyed it a whole lot. It ended up being exactly what I hoped.
YAY!!!
Author
Lol.
I was 33 before I had my first date where there was no expectation of it ending in sex…so I get it. I promise.
Author
This went so well. I’m trying to practice self-control and not badger him, but I just want to curl up next to him.
Awwww! That’s sweet!
So the date has come and gone and I can’t wait to hear. You deserve every good thing.
Author
I’ll tell ya soon. We’re supposed to go out again on Friday. I’m waiting to see how that goes before I say anything.
I wish I could apologise on behalf of all men but that doesn’t work in all honesty.
Not much I can add to the encouragement already given but to say that if you can’t meet someone who meets you and wants to spend time with you for you – sex being almost always at the back of everyones mind, just for honesty’s sake, especially when with a good looking woman – then don’t sweat it because those guys probably wouldn’t have been able to be what you want/deserve.
This other guy, at least it seems he feels a need to connect with you outside the rest of that stuff so perhaps he is the kind of guy who you could date – long term or not is debatable – and have a relationship with.
Hope it goes well.
Cheers.
Author
I’m not sure this will turn into a long term relationship, but I can already tell I’ll have fun with him. I’ll take that. 🙂
Pretty much what I meant! 🙂
Life’s short and while you shouldn’t be foolish and flippant and hasty because of that, it does mean to enjoy a good thing when it’s around.
Author
Good word, sir.
there is nothing like being wined and dined . . . hope it is nice.
Author
It was. The great conversation and lack of pressure made it amazing
“We’re supposed to go out again on Friday.”
Yeah! Its Friday! Have a great time:-)
Author
It is! He and I have chatted frequently. Dancing is on the schedule tonight.
OMG! I’m so excited! I can feel an orgasm coming on!!
Author
LOL. Well, that remains to be seen, but wouldn’t it be so nice to see (feel) it?
…provided you are not texting in Walmart…
Author
Ahahahahaha. Oh wow. Never that.
Hooray for dinner dates