Shit, shit, shit.
David beat his fist against the wall, not caring about the damage he was doing as he vented his emotions. He wanted to punch until his hand broke, maybe then he’d feel some semblance of peace. Not fucking likely.
The confusion was burning a hole in the pit of his stomach, his mind calling him all sorts of names that fitted his behavior over the last few weeks.
He rested his head on the wall, the emotional battle raging out of control in his mind. Who was he anymore? He’d let his dick control him in the past, let unnatural desire tug at him, and now he couldn’t bring his life back under control.
“Fuck.”
Pushing away, he stripped his clothes from his body, leaving them strewn out on the floor as he burst into his bedroom. He shook with frustration as he let his body sink down on his bed.
The cool sheets rubbed against his back rising goose bumps on his skin and bringing erotic moments to mind. A mixture of fantasies featuring both Megan and Kyle surfaced, making his heart pound. Blood rushed to his cock so fast he let out a painful groan. It jutted up, bobbing like a tower from the nest of curls between his thighs, demanding attention now.
He needed release so bad he hurt and his groan reflected the pain he felt.
Fisting his shaft, David let every moment with Kyle move behind his eyelids interspersed with the taste of Megan on his lips.
The arc of lust landed in his gut as he thrust his hips up, letting his cock move through his cupped fingers. Copious amounts of fluid leaked out, slicking him perfectly as he teased himself with those thoughts. To bury himself in Megan while Kyle took his ass would be utter bliss. Thoughts of that perfect moment as sweet on his tongue as her cum. Thinking it brought him closer to the edge.
But he wanted more pain with his pleasure so he gripped himself tighter, staving off his climax. Some demon in his mind screamed that he needed to suffer for his sins. He squeezed his eyes shut, slowing the speed of his strokes, allowing the thoughts of what he couldn’t have to torment him.
The sound of his fist moving on his skin filled the room, his breathing harsh as he fought himself. Sweat poured from his brow, coated his body, and dampened the sheets beneath him. He was blind to all except the need and his confusion. His balls drew up as he inched himself closer, closer to that excruciating release that his body demanded.
“Dave.” The whisper of his name into the heat of the room sent his eyes flying open.
Kyle stood at the foot of the bed like a dark shadow. Hunger brightening his eyes until they glittered. The smile that tilted his lips was sensual and knowing.
It was too much for David. His back bowed as the tingle at the base of his spine exploded like fireworks. Streams of cum arced from his cock, flowing from him and covering his chest and stomach. Kyle watched on, unmoving, that smile in place as David spilled his passion.
His eyes slid closed as the last of his cum leaked out. David couldn’t look at Kyle, couldn’t deal with the confusion. Being caught out like this showed how far gone he was.
A big hand on his calf made him moan. “Door was open so I came in. Locked it behind me so you wouldn’t get any more scavengers. Followed the trail of clothes like a beacon right to you. Found something good enough to eat when I got here.”
The warmth in Kyle’s tone made him shiver. The hand began a slow massage up his leg. “Don’t,” He croaked out.
Kyle didn’t listen and David didn’t want him to stop. To feel his touch, to have that connection was what he needed after so long. Another hand joined the first as it pulled tension from his legs.
“Talk to me, Dave. You’re fucking yourself up inside. Tell me what’s wrong.” Kyle’s voice was gentle like he was coaxing a cat out of a tree.
David relaxed, lulled by his tone and his touch. “I’m not gay. I can’t… I can’t figure out why I want you so fucking much. You do something to my insides when you’re near, always have. It’s like, like you’re under my skin and I can’t help but want you inside me. I can’t stop myself from needing you.”
Silence lingered after his explosive confession. David kept his eyes closed as Kyle’s massage ascended. His cock, which moments before lay spent on his thigh, filled out the closer Kyle got to it. And then that massaging hand wrapped around him, holding him just how he needed.
“Look at me, Dave.” His obedience was instant. The hunger was still in Kyle’s eyes, but something else, something gentle reflected back at him as well. “Sometimes desire and need don’t give a fuck about whether the person you want has a dick or not. Stop torturing yourself and just have what you want. I’ve spent years battling myself until I finally decided that guilt wasn’t doing me any good.”
Kyle bent forward and their eyes locked. One lap at David’s weeping head and they both groaned.
“Stop defining yourself by what society says you are, man. Just take one step at a time and be, or have, whoever the fuck you want.” Another sneaky rasp of his tongue made David jerk.
“When did you all of a sudden get so well-adjusted?” The last word hissed out as Kyle sucked on the tip of him.
Kyle’s eyes burned and David knew how this would end between them. “I never said I was well-adjusted. I just stopped beating myself up over shit like this. The desire wasn’t going away so I learned to accept myself and move on.”
“I—” the sight of his cock disappearing into Kyle’s mouth obliterated whatever he started to say. “God, Kyle!”
He let Kyle’s words tumble through his brain with the pleasure he was giving him. The perfect suck of his lips, the wet heat of him, the hum as he bobbed along his length was mind-blowing.
“Kyle,” he moaned, tugging at his long hair. “Kyle, I need to…”
His mind wouldn’t cooperate. Every time his cock disappeared between Kyle’s lips and reappeared wet with saliva, he lost his train of thought. The bliss on his best friend’s face as Kyle gave him pleasure was beautiful. He jumped as finger pressed at his perineum, inched lower to circle his anus, and slipped in to the knuckle. And still Kyle sucked, hollowing his cheeks and murmuring his delight around David’s cock.
“Oh, God! Kyle.” David couldn’t catch his breath as Kyle pumped one, then two fingers into his ass and released his shaft to suck on his tight balls. “Please, God, please.”
“Where’s your lube at, Dave?” The gentleness was gone from his voice, replaced instead by the harsh command.
He reached for it, barely pulled it from the drawer before Kyle pushed his legs up to his chest. They’d never done it this way and something trembled in his belly as he watched Kyle release his own dick and slick it with oil.
There was no wait. One minute Kyle was teasing his anus with his cock, and the next he buried himself deep inside. Only the thrust of Kyle’s tongue down his throat kept David from crying out from the sudden invasion. It was a different kind of kiss. Heat, longing, and hardness touched with something so sweet.
Kyle let up on the kiss and held his eyes. “Just stop tearing yourself up. How many times do I have to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with wanting each other.”
He laid a hand over David’s racing heart, gripped the back of his thigh, and slid out of him. It was intense, watching Kyle’s face as it registered the pleasure of being inside him. The return thrust drew a gasp from them both.
“Dave, man, I’ve missed you so fucking much.” A wealth of emotion colored his voice.
A response wasn’t necessary. David couldn’t express how much he’d missed Kyle being inside of him, touching him, loving him. The thought of love slipped unbidden into his mind and he couldn’t push it out. The slow advance and retreat of Kyle’s cock, and the way they locked gazes brought the thought to the fore. Fear bubbled up at the realization that he loved Kyle, and the surprise of it triggered his climax. He closed his eyes and shut everything out.
“I want Megan, too.” He choked the words out as pleasure overflowed from him.
He was too far gone to hear anything, but he felt the way Kyle vibrated. The strokes increased to an almost punishing tempo, prolonging the force of his orgasm as he coated them both with the sticky heat of his spunk.
Kyle finished with a roar, filling him to overflowing with cum. Instead of collapsing on him, Kyle took his lips in a kiss so fierce he knew they’d be swollen and bruised later.
They locked eyes again, baby blue and midnight black. Kyle held his face in a tight grip, searching for something in his gaze.
“We’re both bastards, aren’t we? Can’t seem to do anything without fucking it up.” Every word was harsh, designed to sting.
David would’ve turned away, but Kyle wouldn’t let him. Just like he stayed buried deep in his body, he refused to let him look away.
“Kyle,” he breathed out as a prayer, apology, something.
“Shut the fuck up.” And Kyle kissed him again. Taking his mouth, his breath, and his heart with that kiss.
Then he was gone, leaving David naked and alone. If it wasn’t for the cum leaking from his aching body, it would’ve felt like a dream.