The traditional way of numbering the years in the Julian and Gregoria calendars is utilizing B.C. (Commonly denoted as Before Christ) and A.D. (Anno Domini or Year of our Lord).
My life has marking points on the calendar. Birthdays, moving, taking a new job. I like to use a different marking system for my submissive journey.
B.D. and A.D.
Before Daddy and After Daddy.
I wish I had a fun Latin word for it. I mean, I guess the original Latin for A.D. could stand here. Hm…
Anyway, Michael is a very important part of my life. You can see if from my daily affirmations on twitter to many of the things I write.
While I was aware of many of my submissive tendencies, I’d never had a steady dominant to center them on. I discovered my spankophile desires early in my kink journey, but didn’t think I was truly submissive, I just liked to be over someone’s lap. Spanking was a good activity for a lot of my mounting anxiety. I can go over a lap and my head would quiet for a little bit. It was almost therapy, but it wouldn’t last once I was alone.
I’d write the occasional (okay, more than occasional) submissive story, not really acknowledging or understanding what my mind wanted. Without a dominant, it was just passing desires and I wasn’t interested in just submitting to any man.
I “met” Michael via twitter in 2017 and he wasn’t actively looking to make me his submissive nor was I trying to have a dominant, but love happens.
Yes, I now have someone to submit to, but it’s more than that. If I just focus on the emotional changes alone, I notice I’m a little calmer. I noted that I wasn’t struggling with anxiety (or my usual intense seasonal depression) that plagued me. Those things don’t go away, but I found I had help refocusing my emotions with him and I didn’t get swamped like I was prone to becoming.
Having a dominant to submit to does become more than just kneeling, cock sucking, and spankings. I get those things and they are good, but distance means I don’t get them as much as I’d like.
Feeling like I have that connection to him has made me feel more calm. Michael is better than a good spanking!
I’ll be revisiting this in the future when I have more time. Watch this space!
