There are a couple of things I’ve been thinking about in the realm of BDSM. More and more I realized I’m becoming less of a casual observer and more of a committed practicitioner. I wanted to devote a post or two to my musings. Feel free to join in. I’ll even add a photo of myself to each one.
Pain. Slut.
I’ve been ruminating on this particular phrase for a little bit. Application and implication mostly.
I love being spanked. I enjoy it from a simply playful spanking all the way up to cane use. It’s hard to explain, but I crave the painful ones.
The pain is different… Cathartic almost. I know it will hurt, I know I will cry, I know I will feel better. Nothing else matters in those moments because my mind is blank of all except feeling and riding out the pain.
I’m open to discussing my love of spanking with anyone who asks in a nonjudgmental way. Many people are surprised that I’d enjoy it so rough and most men are hesitant to deliver a severe spanking. The label pain slut gets tossed out, but I’m not sure I consider myself that.
Is being spanked or desiring to be spanked a masochistic pleasure for me? Have I always liked a bit of pain with my pleasure? Hair pulling, nipple biting, no prep before penetration?
I see it more as the pain quieting something loud in me. It’s pleasure and release on a different level. It’s satisfaction apart from the sexual. It’s chemical release that loosens me up and makes me calm.
So maybe I am a little bit of one. My ass is still on fire from an intense, long spanking session and I’m already thinking about the next one. Wishing it was tomorrow, needing the relief/release now.
That’s not a bad thing though. How we derive pleasure is individual. My need for pain doesn’t control my life. My vice of choice and soo enjoyable.
