I’m frustrated. No, more accurately I’m a dumb girl.
You want to know why? Because once again I tried and I got nothing for my effort. I’m tenderhearted, sillier than I realize, and unable to say no.
I need someone to make time for me. To contact me, make an effort to see me, and actually stick to the date. Stop bullshitting me! Leave me alone if you don’t care so that I can move on. I keep forgetting don’t want to fix your problems.
No, I’m pissed. I’m pissed and totally sober which makes this worse. I’ve shaved my legs and put on cute clothes once again because I expected some follow through.
But even at my angriest I can’t help worrying that a lack of response is a sign that something is wrong. Not with me… Maybe something happened? A wreck, an overdose, something that meant they can’t be there after all that effort to lure me in. There’s gotta be a reason, right?
It reminds me that I care too damn much. I need to stop and let (him) fix the shit circling like a storm cloud.
I will walk away this time. It’s a promise. A. Promise. Because I can’t keep it up, come to the rescue, be a vessel for pain. I’m too busy just like everyone else seems to be.
Too damn busy.