So, for all my frank exploration and talk of sex, what you don’t know is I’ve been pretty sheltered. Some of it comes from an upbringing with an over protective mother (aggravated by the early loss of my father and an older sister who got pregnant young). I just didn’t get out much. There’s more to it than all that, but that’s a storyline no one cares to read…
All this to say I’ve never been on a legitimate date before. I’ve had close guy friends take me out, but I’ve always felt like it was out of pity. How come a girl like you has never been asked out before? Hell if I know. This is why a date made my list.
I’ve been propositioned more times than I can count, but no man has ever asked me out to dinner. Makes me think I’m only good for sex. Sexy, but not worth respecting.
Let me cut that train of thought off before it careens down the track.
Anyway, if you remember my failed social experiment from last month, you know I wrote the Craigslist debacle off as a funny, weird thing. Something to laugh about, but never ever try again? Yes. What I didn’t expect was to continue a relatively sane, intelligent, though occasionally naughty conversation with someone.
We’re actually having dinner tonight. Not coffee or tea that ends in us playing (or planning to play, though I’m open to it). Just… A simple dinner date.
I want that. I want to just sit and muddle my way through conversation over sushi and drinks. I want to talk, give him a kiss goodnight, and smile because that’s all there is to it. But I’m nervous that it won’t go like that at all.
I want the simplicity of a dinner date without the expectation of sex. I’m far more complicated than most people realize. Again, you don’t have time to listen and there are things I’m too afraid to open up about. Maybe I’ll spill it all out one day soon and hope you’ll respect me enough after my honesty, eh?
Really, I want someone to see me as more than a great ass and tits. I am those things (mostly), but I want to be wanted for more than that.
Typical woman. Desire me, respect me, think about me bent over your bed, but always buy me dinner first.
So… Wish me luck, say a prayer, whisper good words for me. I’m excited not because I can check something off my list, but because I can get dolled up and hopefully have good conversation.
I’ll tell ya all about it. That and speed dating. Did I mention anything about speed dating?? Soon.