I realized the rate of quality stories coming from me has dropped lately. There are probably a host of reasons including the fact that I’m acting out more of my fantasies so there isn’t as much to write about. Then again, I’m wondering if it stems from a lack of true inspiration on my part.
My muse has gone on vacation leaving me here without a shred of writing ability. That bitch (he’s a guy, but I’m beginning to think he’s a gay man. Temperamental, wears taffeta and loves his men hung)!
The few stories I’m able to write are my usual fantasies constructed while I ride public transit. Living in the city is definitely fodder for indulging my kinky imagination at work. It’s easy though, the taking of a nameless individual and constructing some hot story around them. That’s simple images to masturbate to that I write down.
I’m just feeling inadequate lately. Intimidated by certain people navigating in my world.
Take this new guy I’m finding myself drawn to. The image of the man I’m looking for in many ways. Articulate, intelligent, compassionate, caring, passionate, humorous, sensitive, naughty, conversationalist, poetic, and adorable. But the touch of emotional unavailability is disconcerting. Or maybe I’m just projecting…
I’m not intimidated by him, but by the image of the woman that he wants. In many ways I don’t feel I am nor can I be that woman. The ease of our interactions (no, we haven’t had sex of any kind) makes me more nervous instead of less. Almost as though my ability to talk to him and develop some kind of emotional attachment over such a short period of time scares the hell out of me. I’ve not had a guy who wasn’t my friend call me to just talk since high school. It’s a surprise every time he does it too!
But this is a post about my writing.
I’m stymied. Honestly, just stuck. Either I need some steady excitement to fuel my fantasies or I need to start doing writing prompts again. The lack of dedication to my craft is unacceptable.
Having next week lends itself to figuring it out. I am open to writing suggestions if anyone has them.