Blogging while nekkid! Bare ass naked under my covers. Picture, if you will, a curvy brown skinned girl with a pierced nipple and her thighs spread so you can see her other piercing, lounging here thinking of ( ) as she blogs. Can you picture it?
Would you like a photo to go with it?
With an intro like that it’ll surprise you that my topic is kind of serious. It’s related to relationships and the baggage we bring as humans.
We’re damaged in many ways. Even when we have the perfect upbringing with the perfect life, there’s always some hang-up we deal with. We bring those hang-ups into every relationship, friendship, and interaction we have. We seem to function from our distorted view of life.
Maybe we struggle with commitment, with forming lasting friendships, with being honest, with being intimate, with trusting. All because something damaged us. Then we have the interesting task of trying to overcome those things so we can have a lasting form of love.
I was thinking about baggage yesterday as I was spending time with the new Mr. He was telling his story and I was thinking about what baggage I could cope with in a relationship. More accurately, what am I willing to dump on someone else?
I’ve got some serious hang-ups. I’m not sure when I’ll reveal those things to him, but I know mine affect my ability to trust, relax, and give certain things in a committed relationship. Communicating those things is important, but I wonder if my baggage would be too much to carry for someone else and if I have what it takes to shoulder someone else’s.
Think about quirks in the same way. Love, lust, and attraction blind us, but what behavior would be too much to take? I won’t ditch someone because of a small thing, but I want to be aware and accepting of the quirks too.
I want that acceptance from someone else too. Like my tendency to give the appearance of being indecisive. “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” My tendency to be headstrong and impulsive. My tendency to want to hide the parts of me I hate. And on and on…
This is just my general thoughts as I spend more time with (I need a nickname for him). I want to be thoughtful and aware with the right expectations.
The date went well by the way. We hung out and talked and I enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me, knowing he wouldn’t push me. We parted with a sweet kiss (big considering my thoughts on kissing) and I’m seeing him again today.
He could become a regular. Hard to tell, but we talked about seeing where this would lead and I’m open to that. Low expectations, guard up, but lots of fun to be had. 🙂