Change is supposed to be a good thing. Not easy, but good for us in the end. The excitement and even the anxiety sharpens our focus and helps us perform better. If we stay where we are without executing some kind of positive change, we stagnate and rot. It’s important to rise to the challenge that a change presents and allow it to shape us in a healthy way.
That’s the enlightening bullshit I’ve been telling myself for the last few weeks. But as the date for my move rapidly approaches, I’m starting to wonder if I’m making a mistake. What I mean is there are components of this that are falling into place like locks on a safe, ready to open up and offer me things made of gold, exciting things that will help me grow! Except I can’t seem to make one very important thing happen.
I leave in 12 days and I still don’t have a place to live!!
Shit, damn, shit.
That should be the easiest component of this whole endeavor. I’ve been at this for a month and a half now to no avail. I can’t seem to secure anything and its frustrating the hell out of me. Getting a job was easier!
I’ve been joking about living under a bridge for a few days. An exaggeration, but its feeling likely.
Those who aren’t exactly in my corner with this move are seeing this as a sign of my foolhardy behavior showing itself. I have to admit that it’s dampening my enthusiasm and bringing out my latent pessimist.
So, I need something to happen, something awesome to buoy my flagging excitement. Something to remind me that change is good, but not easy and ultimately worth doing. I believe this will be good, but I wish that belief was supported by the knowledge that this last puzzle piece was falling into place. (There should’ve been more puns in this posts and now I’m sad there werent)
Deep breath, and trust. Whosa