I started this post and then got a paragraph in and didn’t feel like finishing it. Here’s my halfway attempts before I stopped out of irritation/frustration/disinterest.
I haven’t really talked about my love life mostly because I don’t currently have much of one. I vowed to take a hiatus around November and self-fulfilling prophecies means I’ve stuck to my promise to stay celibate for as close to a year as I could get.
It’s been 6 months.
Last night I was alllll set to bust that streak. When you want to get laid, and someone is promising they’re available, well the hormones take over. The kitty wants what the kitty wants.
Except, by 11pm I was shaved, waxed, showered, naked, and not getting laid. I was disappointed by someone again because it’s the story of my life. Not a text, call, explanation, or a “sorry I fucking bailed on you, I’m a huge douchebag”.
Woke up tired of trying with this particular person, but willing to be kind about it. In essence, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I’m not interested in putting myself out. Again. I don’t get an explanation, but I got a sorty for leaving me out in the cold. All well in good, except… I. Didn’t. Get. Laid.
See, this isn’t the first time something has ‘come up’ and I’m left wondering why I bother. Yea, the sex is beyond good, but if I can’t even get an explanation for why I’m being left holding my proverbial dick, then maybe we shouldn’t bother with each other.
It’s hard not to let the underlying message of not being worth someone’s time bother you. I keep hearing the message loud and clear.
So here I am learning the hard lesson of disappointment. AGAIN.
My celibacy streak continues.
Comments
You may be pissed off, but you still take a damn fine photograph.
I’m sorry it happened (again)… I can very much relate to this and it sucks, especially when you aren’t trying to seek out many people.
Ditto.
It’s never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate people can be for no reason.
So much for my optimism for you yesterday 🙁
The sad part is there are some things hat would be honored to have the chance if only they didn’t live in small town USA nowhere near a willing partner.
If it makes you feel better, the very sight of you made my day better
‘Doucheba’ does not describe, Cara. I agree with Graypoet.
Having read this again, I am struck by your grace in this situation. You have been badly treated, you have been taken for granted. Yet you rise above it and do not shout and stamp about it.
Your self control does you proud.
A little epithet I saw on a blog somewhere: “Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.”
Personally, I’d prefer not to have that discomfort, but sometimes that is how it is. It also said: “Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not to define you.” I hope you find somebody worthy of your time.